spend a week
with Roman!
Come on. You're gonna have fun
from now on, I promise you.
Roman's making goat cheese pizza and
we'll take it to the lodge. Come on.
He's makin' what?
What did you say?
- Pizza?
- You didn't say pizza.
- Big... man pizza.
- What are you hiding?
- You don't have to hide from me! Tell me what it is.
- Pizza.
You said a "goat" in there. Is he making
goat pizza? What is this? Come here.
- Roman, I got a few things to gnaw over with ya.
- What's goin' on?
- I found your youngsters inside the mine perimeter.
- What mine?
There's an old mica mine
on the other side of the property.
It's full of boreholes and sinkholes
and pits, caves, hollows.
The war shut the facility down.
It's never been reopened.
Anyway, the kids go there
and they yell down the hole...
so they can hear
their voices echo.
- I'm not gonna tell you what the teenagers do there.
- I'll bet.
- Tell Ripley, too, huh?
- Done.
Take care of 'em, Roman.
We got a shot to see a female Elvis
impersonator over in White Water...
and you want to wish happy birthday
to a guy you never even met?
You want to go to White Water,
go to White Water.
As for me, I find it more interesting
to pay my respects...
to a man who's had the courage
to live on this earth 109 years.
He's the oldest living man
in Canada, kids. Isn't that something?
Personally, I'd rather see
a 46-inch bust singing "burnin' love."
- Hey, Wally!
- How you doin'?
How 'bout a nice club soda,
please? I'm drivin' tonight.
Nice outfit!
You're Mr. Coordinated tonight, huh?
- Well...
- Quite the look on you.
Well, the pants are ridin'
up the butt somethin' fierce...
but I'll get by.
- Wally, what's the bear dump situation like?
- We got a good one.
Good evening, sir.
Happy birthday.
He must be hard of hearing.
Try again.
Sprechen sie Deutsch?
Do you speak English?
Our sincerest congratulations, sir.
You wishing Mr. Tompkins
a happy birthday?
About a hundred times.
I don't think the guy can hear us.
How about a nice group photo? Give me
your camera. Everybody get in there.
- What do I do, push the red button?
- Just the red button, Dad.
- How do you focus?
- You don't focus.
- You don't have to focus?
- Just push the red button.
I don't like them youngsters climbing around
Mr. Tompkins. He's ain't no jungle gym.
Girls, why don't you kiss
Mr. Tompkins on the cheek?
- A nice kiss on the cheek.
- No.
- What old man wouldn't like a little girl kissin' him?
- A dead one.
- Huh?
- Bill died in the car on the way over here.
Jesus, Dad!
Go wash, go wash!
In the bathroom.
- How could you do that?
- I didn't do that. He did it.
You're disgusting.
Kids?
That was a real good shot.
That was really, really good.
What the hell...
Hey, you gave her a world-class
goose with the pool cue, Buck.
She's so cute!
Violent, but... yeah, cute.
You got chalk right there.
- Look, I'll be back in a couple of minutes, okay?
- What about the bear dump?
Hey, it's crowded.
This is great.
- Yeah, Dad.
- See, a lot of people are hip to this.
Oh, yeah.
Hey!
All right!
Look at those bears!
Huh?
Are you scared or what?
- Look at the bears!
- They're great, Dad.
"They're great, Dad." I've got
a great idea. You're gonna see bears.
- Dad.
- Shh, shh, shh.
Here you go.
Nice Zagnut.
Yeah!
Come on.
Come on.
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.
Come on! More!
Come on.
Here's some more.
Geez.
Boy, he likes those.
Now we'll get some action.
Whoa. Big head on him.
Whoo boy!
Easy, easy,
easy there! Easy!
Hey, watch the paint job.
Hey, shoo!
Look at the size
of those teeth. Whoo!
Hey, shoo!
Go on!
- Dad, I wouldn't do that.
- You may be right. Yeah, he's lookin' at us.
He's not finished, that's it.
When he finishes, he'll go.
He's a pretty big bear.
Very big.
Just let him eat his candy bar.
Shoo, shoo, shoo.
Hi.
How you doin'?
Whoo.
Ah, geez. All right,
all right, all right.
Okay. Um,
let me rethink this.
Hey!