purebred -
purebred mule horse!
- You rode it like it was.
- That baby was bred for packing.
- You looked great on that horse.
- Here he comes.
Where is he? Hi, honey.
(Roman) He's lost his mount.
How are you doing, trouper?
Where's that ball-slappin' nag
you were riding?
- (Connie) He looks the worse for wear.
- OK, Dad?
- I'm OK.
- Did that horse buck you off?
What happened? You got hungry
and had to eat the nag, huh?
- Let's go home.
- What?
- Go home.
- Home?
- We've got the whole day planned!
- A nap.
- Come on!
- Oh, yeah.
- Come on!
- I'm fine. It was OK.
I know musky's the big deal fish
in these waters
but come with me
off the coast of Virginia,
I'll let you hook into
a thousand-pound blue marlin
and you'll know what fishing's
all about with a capital F!
Excuse him. After a few cocktails,
he's an expert on everything.
- Was that a shot?
- No, that was the truth.
- That was a shot.
- That was a shot.
Speaking of shots, set us up!
- This guy's a riot.
- Isn't he?
- Everybody loves him, right?
- Oh, yeah.
You make a lot of tips on this job?
- I do all right.
- Who handles your investments?
My wife's got some egg money
put aside
but she won't give it up to me.
I'll take her number, I'll change that.
That's what I do - investments.
How you doing?
Well, it-it-it-it-it-it
ain't-ain't r-r-r-raining.
- It ain't r-r-r-raining, so t-t-that's good.
- Yeah. I guess so.
- You fellas met Reg?
- I don't think so.
How you doing? Roman Craig.
Pleased to meet you.
Er, Chet Ripley. How do you do?
That's quite a hairdo you got.
- A neo-skunk thing?
- Roman!
- The hair!
- You don't have to say it.
His hair turned white
cos lightning hit him.
He's been struck by lightning...
How many times, Reg?
S-S-S-Six...
Six times?
S-S-Six...
Sixty-six times.
In-n-n...
the head!
Sixty-six times?
God! That's gotta hurt.
You'll never meet a guy more tuned in
to the barometric pressure than Reg.
Yeah. You see him running like hell
for home, head for cover. Right, Reg?
Hey, you pay. I gotta go to the john.
Introduce Mr. Thick Dick
to Mr. Urinal Cake.
Jeez, Roman! Do you have to?
What I really want to say is...
thank you.
This is very important
to Roman and me.
- I miss you, Connie.
- Oh, honey!
It's so lonely being wealthy.
Hm. I wouldn't know about that.
No, I mean it, honey.
I mean it, it is lonely.
He works terrible hours. Travels.
We go a month
without going to bed together.
Really? A month? That long?
Mm-hm.
I get pleasure by leaning against
the washer during the spin cycle.
- Does that work?
- Have you ever seen whiter whites?
(Kate giggling)
- When do you go back to Chicago?
- Erm, three days.
I've never had a boyfriend
for longer than two weeks.
- Get outta here.
- That's why I was such a bitch.
- No, you weren't a bitch.
- Yes, I was.
It's no big deal.
I don't understand
what I'm doing here.
Look, I've never even had a girlfriend.
I've dated girls
but never one I'd call my girlfriend.
- What would you call me?
- Officially?
Girlfriend?
And you're leaving in three days.
See what I mean?
Yeah.
- Well?
- Well what?
(Woman screaming)
- What? What?
- It touched me!
It's been touching you for 12 years.
- Not you!
- What?
- A thing.
- What thing?
What's going on for God's sakes?
What is it?
That thing!
That's just a little sparrow.
Come on, Roman, it's got ears.
Jesus!
(All yelling)
Jesus, it's a tiny flying mouse,
not a bear.
I am not going back in till it's out.
- We'll get it out. Chet.
- What?
Get a shovel, go in there
and get that radar-guided vermin.
- Why me?
- It's your cabin. We didn't order bats.
- You stay here too.
- You're the hosts.
- So what?
- Stop fighting and go kill it.
- We don't have to kill it.
- Kill it!
- It didn't do anything.
- It attacked me.
He's wimping out. I'll take care of it.
I am not wimping, I'm thinking.
There's a big difference.
If you want me to take care of