I just ran over your cat.''
- Oh, that's sad.
- The poor cat.
And then the man said,
''I'd like to replace your cat.''
And the lady said,
''That's all right with me, but
how are you at catching mice?''
Well, you know I started out sad.
I, I try, really I do.
But, but everything ends up
so hilarious, I can't--
I can't help--
That will be quite enough of that!
It's time to go home.
- Oh, that is sad.
- Oh, no!
Oh, that's sad. That's
the saddest thing I ever heard.
Come along, children. Spit spot!
Must you really go?
You know, people come to see me
all the time, you know.
And, and we have such a lovely time,
and then they have to go home.
And, and I'm very, very sad
about the whole thing.
Don't worry.
We'll come back soon.
We had a lovely time.
Uh, keep an eye on Uncle Albert,
will you, Bert?
- I'll sit with him a while.
- Thank you. Come on.
Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke
I saved for just such an occasion.
- Would you like to hear it?
- I'd be so grateful.
Righto. Well,
it's about me granddad, see?
And one night,
he had a nightmare, he did.
- So scared that he chewed
his pillow to bits.
- Yes.
- To bits.
- Yes.
- Next morning I says...
- ''How do you feel, Granddad?''
- Yes.
He says, ''Oh, not bad.
A little down in the mouth!''
Yeah, I always say there's
nothing like a good joke.
No. And that was nothing
like a good joke! That--
Bit late tonight,
aren't you, Banks?
I say, Banks!
Is anything the matter, Banks?
Banks!
- Oh, Father, we're so glad you're home!
- Want to hear a joke?
We had the most wonderful
afternoon with Mary Poppins.
Speaking of afternoons,
the joke goes like this.
I know a man with a wooden leg
named Smith.
Smith? We don't know anyone
called Smith.
And there was a second chap,
and the second chap says,
''What's the name of his other leg?''
And we had a lovely tea party
on the ceiling!
Oh, children,
please be quiet.
Mary Poppins says if we're good,
she'll take us there again.
Oh. Oh, Mary Poppins
said that, did she?
Will you please return
to your room.
Mary Poppins, will you
be kind enough to come with me?
As you wish.
Mary Poppins, I very much regret
what I must say to you.
- Good evening, George.
Is anything the matter?
- I'm afraid there is.
I, I'd love to stay, but I have
to dress for my rally in Hampstead.
Winifred, it is my wish
that you be present!
Oh, yes, George,
of course.
Mary Poppins, I must confess I am
extremely disappointed in you.
She's for it now. I've heard
the master do this speech before.
I don't deny that I am partially
responsible for allowing the children...
to spend their days on worthless
frivolity to the exclusion of all else!
But it is high time they learned
the seriousness of life!
But, George,
they're only children.
Precisely. And in the light
of what has happened--
George, are you certain
you know what you're doing?
I believe I do, Winifred.
A British bank
is run with precision
A British home
requires nothing less
Tradition, discipline and rules
must be the tools
Without them disorder, chaos
Moral disintegration
- In short you have a ghastly mess
- I quite agree.
The children must be moulded
shaped and taught
That life's a looming battle
to be faced and fought
In short, I am disturbed to hear
my children talking about...
popping in and out
of chalk pavement pictures...
consorting with racehorse
persons, fox hunting.
Yes, well I don't mind
that quite so much.
At any rate,
it's traditional.
But tea parties on the ceiling?
I ask you.
Having tea parties on the
ceiling and highly-questionable
outings of every other kind!
If they must go on outings
These outings ought to be
Fraught with purpose
Yes, and practicality
These silly words like
Superca-- Super--
- Superca--
- Supercalifragilistic-expialidocious.
Yes,