pursuit of excellence
begins with elegance. "
I haven't been elegant and demure
since I graduated from finishing school.
Entrйe.
She's pretty.
What is all this
enchanted-peasant-girl stuff?
Oh, it's a typical old world tale.
Girl meets prince.
Evil sorcerer turns girl into wood
for 1,000 years,
Lord knows how.
Wooden girl becomes
major tourist attraction.
Yeah, that's pretty typical, all right.
Would you like to try
one of our new fragrances?
No, thanks.
Tabu. How mysterious. Hit me again, Gail.
You never buy, Hollywood.
Well, no.
That is because I am constantly evolving.
Put it right here, Jason.
- How about a gift for your girlfriend?
- Oh, I don't have one.
So you're looking.
For true love. Yeah. Sure.
True love is like the Loch Ness monster.
Everyone has heard of it,
but no one has ever seen it.
- I have.
You know, I don't know.
I think there's someone out there
for everyone.
I couldn't agree more.
You just have to follow your heart,
and your nose.
Well, my, my, my.
Aren't we the little coquette?
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but, Jason,
I think that if you asked Gail out,
she would probably say yes.
Am I hallucinating, Gail?
Excuse me, I'm beeping. Pardon moi.
Put it right there, Jason.
Well, I am free Friday, Jason.
I'm free, too, Gail.
Well, why rush it?
I mean, looks like we're gonna be
working here together.
- Why don't we just, you know...
- Something terrible has happened.
The enchanted peasant girl
has been in an accident!
Come on. We must go.
Follow me! Move your buns!
Still free Friday.
My little nip and tuck
derriere is gonna be in a sling
if anything happens to that statue,
those clothes or the royal jewels.
I'm sure
everything's gonna be fine.
Oh, it's just the word "jewels. "
I have these beads and baubles,
mementos of old flames.
Souvenirs for old
Mr. Left Behind Hollywood.
Oh, it's just so cheap and tawdry.
Well, at least they thought enough of you
to give you the gifts.
I bought them myself.
Wow!
Hold it right there, man.
Someone please kill me!
I don't want to live!
Just breathe or something, would you?
Jeez! The whole thing's gonna go!
Get out of the truck!
Be careful. The girl will fall out.
We must secure the doors.
All my years on the force, I never saw
anybody more stupid than you guys.
The sign said "keep right. "
To the end of the bridge,
where the street is.
Hoist her up.
But the peasant girl!
- It's gonna go! Get out!
- No!
I'll save you!
Oh, chivalry's not dead.
Let go!
Where is Jacques Cousteau
when you need him?
Give her to us. She's ours.
Take it.
- There he is!
Don't you ever touch
the enchanted peasant girl.
Oh, my hero!
You saved the presentation
and my phony baloney job.
I could have sworn she was real.
She's a mannequin.
I could have sworn she was real.
She's the enchanted peasant girl.
Let me guess.
You must be the boys
from Hauptmann-Koenig.
My, haven't we been
hoarding the steroids.
We are here to guard
our national treasure.
Oh, and doing a fabulous job.
Did you recover
the rest of the sacred wardrobe?
I thought Arnold did.
I thought you did.
No!
Goodbye, boys.
Jason, let's take the mannequin
back to the store.
Yeah, we wouldn't want her to catch cold.
They're so dumb. I just love that in a man.
This is the strangest thing
that's ever happened to me.
Believe me,
stranger things have happened.
Yeah? Well, not to me, they haven't.
Do you think these jewels are real?
Honey, this little country girl knows jewels
and, believe me, those are real.
It's your fault.
No, it's your fault.
We have to catch a ride.
I know how.
Hey, look!
I don't believe this.
I don't believe it.
Whoo!
Hey!
All right, let's give them a ride.
Oh, baby, yeah.
- Get in.
- Get in.
Get in. I told you it would work.
Take them up.
Did you get my note?
- Yes, Andy, I got it.
Well?
Look, you're very sweet,
but you can't buy my car insurance.
- Why not?
- Andy, can I give