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intellectuals
who waste all their time -
- fixating on penis envy?
Well, sex is a prime motivator.
I mean, indirectly, I believe sex -
- is behind most of our major
thought processes.
- You think so?
- Absolutely.
- Do you like pornos?
- Excuse me?
You know, pornos.
Fuck films.
Surely you've heard stories.
Yes. I've heard stories, -
- but I've never... never really
given them that much thought.
I love them, especially fag flicks.
Their big cocks sliding in
and out of each other.
Fuck, that gets me so wet they have
to steam clean the seat after I leave.
In fact...
- I'm getting wet
just talking about it.
- What aren't you telling me, Nick?
- Nothing, Case.
- Just don't give her my shit.
- Don't worry. I don't have it.
- You give it to the Jamaican?
- No.
- I flushed it down the sink.
- What?
I went on as a day player
on this porn film in L.A.
Just to see what it was like, right?
So, I spent five hours with this guy
ramming his dick up my ass -
- and these two women licking my clit.
Not what you'd expect, though.
It's just acting.
I mean, at first, it was great.
Then you have some prick director that
comes over and yells "cut" in your face -
- and some queen makeup artist that
comes over every couple of minutes -
- to touch up the makeup that's
been slobbered off your tits.
So you don't really
have a chance to enjoy it.
Finally, I just walked off the set.
Cool experience, though.
You got a hard-on, Jarv?
All right...
Time to go.
Your cow is calling you.
- I am so sorry, Dr. Jarvis.
- Oh, no. Please, take your time.
You get the fuck out of my house.
Did you say you were from L.A.?
- What?
- What?
Is that how you answer
the phone these days?
I'm sorry, honey.
I thought you were somebody else.
Did you know Mr. Wells
when he was living in L.A.?
Well, not directly.
Course, I heard of his work.
His work?
Isn't that why you're here?
What do you need?
I mean, how's your day going?
Tough. We're at
an impasse on the fee, so...
- That's great, honey.
- What? Casey, are you okay?
How's everything there?
Oh, it's interesting.
You really wouldn't believe it.
Have you seen Dr. Jarvis?
- Yes, and he's here right now.
- Really?
- How's it going?
- Huh...
And then, once I met Nick, I got
the full-blown Casey Wells story.
- You want one?
- One what?
A Casey Wells story.
- Yes, I would.
- How about the last one?
- Fine.
- All right.
Nick and Casey -
- had this guy, Jimmy.
A small-time nothing, -
- a bird dog for some
of the mid-level players.
It's cool, man.
You just took too big a lick.
That is some rank fuckin' shit, man.
And he set up
a meeting between them -
- and this big nigger
named... uh, Lester James.
Of course, most people
knew him as Ballpeen.
Ballpeen's casa at 7:00.
Where in the fuck a nigger
get a name like that?
- You seen little nigger's arm, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- That's why they call him Ballpeen.
- He broke Jimmy's arm...
... with a ten-pound ball peen hammer.
Three years ago
"Lester James", a.k.a. Ballpeen, -
- was a big, stud motherfucker.
Had a stable of bitches
he fucked on a regular basis, -
- but every couple weeks...
he went out to get some strange.
One night, Lester finds
himself in this titty bar, -
- and this knockout white girl named Raven,
is just gyrating her little tits off.
Well, Lester wanted her
in the worst way.
Even more when she told him
to go fuck himself.
He sprinkles
a little fairy dust on her, -
- somehow gets her
to go back to his place.
That was all she wrote.
He "abused" this bitch.
He fucked her every way
you can think of and then some.
Finally, he gets ready
to go again, and he figures -
- he'd "really" degrade this bitch
and make her blow him.
So, he pushes her head down
and, bam!
She bites that
motherfucker's dick... clean off.
Fortunately, they found it
and sewed it back on.
But it never worked right again.
The problem is, a story like that
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