get you something healthy,
from all food groups:
Hamburger, French fries,
coffee and donuts.
- Wait.
- What, you don't like onions?
- Give me key to car.
- It's unlocked.
In case she leave.
You can't drive that car.
That's against regulations.
What if you crash?
That means I gotta fill out reports
until I retire.
Key.
All right. But honk
if you see something.
Hey, asshole. You can't park here.
This is my parking place.
I live right up there.
Move your piece of shit car out now
or give me 50 bucks.
- I do not understand.
- Let me make it real simple, moron.
You move your ass or give me 50
or I take my Pete Rose...
...and fucking mutilate your car.
- Do you know Miranda?
- Never heard of the bitch.
- Everything okay?
- Yes, fine. No problems.
What about that sack of shit
laying on the sidewalk?
He lives here.
You're a real beaut, you know that?
I called the squad room. Guess what.
Tatomovich, you know,
that bastard I shot?
Well, he's pulling out of his coma
at the hospital.
Why don't we just go over there
and interrogate him, bag this shit?
Here she is.
- Now we go.
- Wait, wait, wait!
Shit! Goddamn it! Jesus Christ!
I just burned off my dick!
Oh, God! Jesus!
Look at the mess I made, damn it.
Now I gotta wash the car.
Just wrecked a goddamn suit
and I hard-boiled my nuts.
It's gonna look like I pissed
in my pants all goddamn night.
Hey, hey, careful with the driving,
will you? I don't want any accidents.
I'll have to fill out paperwork
for the rest of my life.
I have car under control.
Yeah, sure. I suppose they taught you
everything you need to know...
...about car wrecks and the price
of insurance in your school in Kiev.
Socialist countries,
insurance not necessary.
State pays for everything.
Yeah.
Well, tell me something, captain.
If you got such a fucking paradise
over there...
...how come you're up the same creek
with heroin and cocaine?
Chinese find way.
Right after revolution...
...they line up all drug dealers,
all drug addicts...
...take them to public square
and shoot them in back of head.
Never work here.
Fucking politicians wouldn't go for it.
Shoot them first.
Christ, they're right behind us.
That's the general idea.
Look at this, man. We have a pro
basketball team heading toward us...
...with guns.
- Hold this.
- What's this?
It's Viktor's key.
- Put gun away.
- Are you nuts?
I'm supposed to tell you
that this is a truce...
...arranged by somebody
named Abdul.
- You leave your guns with those guys.
- No way.
Chicago cop never relinquishes
his weapon.
Here.
You got the key?
Boy, am I glad we hid that key.
Good thing we didn't bring it with us.
We'd really be in deep shit.
Don't waste your time.
- Where is Viktor?
- We got everything under control.
Well, good. I'll be the translator.
You got a job. You're the hostage.
I'm out of here. I've had enough
of this macho shit.
Thank you. I'm glad you could help.
Hey, I'm sorry,
but this whole thing is way past me.
Honey, I understand, really.
Go see Viktor.
He's down that ramp over there.
You get out of hand...
...your friend here gonna be gone.
Hear that?
Prick.
Greetings, comrade.
We meet in strange places.
I don't like being used as bait.
- I thought Viktor wanted to see me.
- Viktor wants you to get in car.
If they let me have my gun
you would be already dead.
Cigarette?
The people have many needs.
One is law and order.
Other, entertainment.
We both have our codes, Vanya.
Yours, one of the state.
Mine, one of thieves.
We both respect courage.
We even hold our own lives
in contempt.
You have contempt for all life.
You don't, huh?
You killed my friend.
You killed my brother.
Your brother was criminal.
A dead man is a dead man.
After 70 years,
the doors begin to open in Moskva.
Our first taste of freedom
will be cut with cocaine.
Any country that can survive Stalin...
...can certainly handle dope.
I think you should come off