back, you fat, bearded bitch!
One pod left.
And three of us.
And I'm the president.
Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship.
I think you should go down with it.
Goodbye.
What's the matter with this belt?
Spaceballs...
This ship will self-destruct
in 20 seconds...
It's your last chance
to push the cancellation button...
Cancellation button? Hurry!
Spaceballs...
Watch out!
- Where is it? Where is it?
- It's gotta be here.
- Out of order.
- Fuck! Even in the future nothing works.
This ship will self-destruct
in exactly ten seconds...
Counting down...
Ten, nine...
...eight, six...
Six? What happened to seven?
Just kidding...
There's the other end. Faster!
Six, five, four...
...three, two, one...
- Have a nice day
- Thank you.
We did it!
We all did it.
So I guess you might call that
a case of man bites droid?
On a sadder note, Pizza The Hutt...
...famed half-man, half-pizza...
...was found dead earlier today
in the back seat of his stretch limo...
Evidently, the notorious gangster became
locked in his car and ate himself to death...
Coming up:
Pongo's review of "Rocky Five...
Thousand" Pongo?
Did you hear that?
Pizza kicked the bucket.
Now we don't have to pay him the million.
We can keep it for ourselves.
Yeah.
- Daddy! Oh, Daddy!
- Oh, Vespa, my darling.
I thought I'd never see you again.
Oh, my sweet little daughter.
I'm so happy that you're home and safe.
And, little Vespa, here's someone else
who's happy to see you.
Oh, hello.
Where have you been?
Thanks, hon.
Hiya, big stuff.
Hi, dream.
- What'll you have?
- We're just gassing up, so what's ready?
I got the space soup or the space special.
- Um, I'll have the soup.
- OK.
I'll have the cleavage. Uh, the special.
OK, one special and one soup.
- Ready to order?
- Hi. Yes, we'll both have the lunafish.
Anything to drink?
Hey, watch where you stick that thing!
Huh? Oh, look, it's got a mind of its own,
sweetheart. I can't do a thing with it.
- Jeez!
- What?
No, we were lost.
None of us knew where we were.
And then Harry began feeling around
on all the trees.
Then he said "I got it. We on Pluto".
And we said "Harry, how can you tell?"
He said "From the bark, you dummy!"
From the bark!
Is he all right?
- Hey, what's wrong with this guy?
- I don't know!
- Bring him some water!
- Water, my ass!
Bring this guy some Pepto-Bismol!
Waitress! Waitress! What did he order?
- Oh, he had the special.
- The spe... That's my order!
- Change my order to the soup.
- Good move.
Oh, no.
Not again.
Hello, my baby
Hello, my honey...
Hello, my ragtime gal...
Send me a kiss by wire...
Baby, my heart's on fire...
If you refuse me Honey, you'll lose me...
Then you'll be left alone
Oh, baby, telephone...
And tell me I'm your own...
Check, please.
Five minutes to magic time.
Are you all right, my dear?
You look a little... Flighty.
Don't worry about me, Father.
I'm completely over him.
Huh! Didn't even stay for the wedding.
Just grabbed his million bucks and ran.
He didn't take the million.
- He didn't?
- No.
He just took 248 space bucks
for lunch, gas and tolls.
I can't believe you refused the money. But
we could've stayed for food. I'm starving.
- Have you got anything to eat?
- Nah.
Oh, wait a minute.
Yogurt gave me that fortune cookie.
- Here, chow down.
- Wow, thanks.
- I'll split it.
- No.
OK.
- Yogurt!
- Hello, boys.
Well, you opened your fortune cookie,
so here's your fortune.
Lone Starr, you know
that medallion that you wear...
...but you don't know what it means?
Here's what it means.
It's a royal birth certificate. Yes!
Your father was a king,
your mother was a queen...
...which makes you a certified prince.
Hey, I'm a prince.
I'm a prince! Which means...
Which means if you hurry
there could be a princess in your future.
If you wanna stop her
marrying Sleeping Beauty...
...there's a special can of fuel
in your glove compartment.
- Good luck, boys.
-