Thanks.
I'll never forget you.
Wish me luck.
So, Princess Vespa,
at last I have you in my clutches
to have my way with you
the way I want to.
No! No! Please, leave me alone.
No, you are mine.
Not so fast, Helmet. Lone Starr!
Yes, it's me.
I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey.
Now you are going to die. Psst!
Oh, oh! Oh!
What'd you do to him? The same thing
I'm going to do to you, big boy. Oh!
And you, too. Oh! Argh!
Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone.
Oh, no, I hate you. Leave me alone.
Yet I find you strangely attractive.
Of course you do.
Druish princesses are often
attracted to money and power.
And I have both. And you know it.
Oh, leave me alone. No, kiss me!
No! No! Yes! No!
No! Yes! No! Yes!
Oh, your helmet is so big.
- Lord Helmet.
- What?
- You're needed on the bridge, sir.
- Knock on my door! Knock next time!
- Yes, sir.
- Did you see anything?
No, I didn't see you
playing with your dolls.
Good.
President Skroob.
I told you never to call me on this wall!
This is an unlisted wall.
Sorry, sir, but it's very important.
The princess is in your office
and Lord Helmet is awaiting you there.
- All right, all right. I'll be right there.
- Yes, sir.
Helmet, you fiend! What's going on?
What are you doing to my daughter?
Permit me to introduce
the brilliant young plastic surgeon,
Dr Phillip Schlotkin.
The greatest nose-job man
in the entire universe and Beverly Hills.
- Your Highness.
- Nose job? She's already had a nose job.
It was her Sweet-16 present.
No, it's not what you think.
It's much, much worse.
If you do not give me
the combination to the air shield,
Dr Schlotkin will give your daughter back
her old nose!
No!
- Where did you get that?
- All right, I'll tell. I'll tell.
- No, Daddy, no! You mustn't.
- You're right, my dear.
I'll miss your new nose, but I will not
tell him the combination, no matter what.
Very well. Dr Schlotkin, do your worst.
My pleasure.
No! Wait! Wait!
I'll tell. I'll tell.
I knew it would work.
All right. Give it to me.
The combination is
one.
- One.
- One.
Two.
- Two.
- Two.
Three.
- Three.
- Three.
Four.
- Four.
- Four.
Five.
- Five.
- Five.
So the combination is
one, two, three, four, five.
That's the stupidest combination
I ever heard!
It's what an idiot has on his luggage.
Thank you, Your Highness.
- What did you do?
- I turned off the wall.
- No, you turned off the movie.
- Wrong button.
- Well, put it back up!
- Yes, sir!
You gotta get that thing fixed! We're back,
and we have the combination.
- Schlotkin!
- What?
We're done. Go back to the golf course
and work on your putts.
Let's go, Arnold. Come, Gretchen.
Of course I'll still have to bill you for this.
Oh! I bet she gives great helmet.
- Did it work?
- Yes, sir. We have the combination.
Great! Now we can take every last breath
of fresh air from Planet Druidia.
- What's the combination?
- One, two, three, four, five.
- One, two, three, four, five?
- Yes.
That's amazing. I've got
the same combination on my luggage.
- Prepare Spaceball One for departure.
- Yes, sir.
And change the combination
on my luggage.
There it is. Spaceball City straight ahead.
Good. I'm taking her in.
What the hell is that thing?
Looks like a Winnebago with wings. Jeez.
Hey, you can't park here!
Yeah. Can't you guys read? "No Parking".
That son of a...
All right, hands up.
You're under arrest for illegal parking.
Yeah!
Warden Miller. Warden Miller.
You're wanted in V17.
Attention, attention.
Section C scanners, report.
Nah.
- She's gotta be in one of these cells.
- Yeah, but which one?
- No.
- No.
- It's coming from here.
- That can't be her.
It's her!
She's a bass!
- What do you want?
- It's me!
- It's us!
- Lone Starr!
- How did you find us?
- No time to talk. Come on.
- We gotta move.
- Barf, how'd you do it?
Come on.
Hey, those are the guys
that stole our uniforms!
And beat the shit out of us, too!