did he get? What did he touch?
Nothing happened!
What the hell was that noise?
That was my Virgin Alarm.
It's programmed to go off before you do.
You get back to bed, miss.
And as for you, sex fiend...
All right. Let's all just get some sleep.
- We gotta get moving before dawn.
- Why so early?
Because we're in the middle of the desert...
and we aren't gonna get very far
once that blazing sun gets overhead.
Nice dissolve.
Water.
Oil.
Room service.
Chief, I'm dead.
I can't go any further.
Come on, Barf, old buddy.
- Just one more dune to go.
- No!
You said that three dunes ago.
I got no more left.
Oh, waiter. Check, please.
Must go on.
Who am I kidding?
Thanks, little guy.
Thank you.
Did I miss something?
When did we get to Disneyland?
I don't see them, Sandurz.
I've sent the troops on ahead
to Vector 78, sir.
- Let's get moving.
- Yes, sir. Driver, prepare to move out.
What are you preparing?
You're always preparing. Just go.
- Just go.
- Yes, sir.
Sir, shouldn't you sit down?
What're they saying?
Well, it's obvious
they want us to go with them.
What is this place?
It looks like the Temple of Doom.
Well, it sure ain't Temple Beth Israel.
Come on. I think we'd better follow them.
I think we woke it up.
Goodbye, folks!
Let me know how it turns out.
- Come back here, Dot!
- Come on. We gotta keep going.
We need you.
What's gonna happen now?
Don't ask. Maybe it won't.
But what if it does?
I don't know about you,
but I'm all for leaving.
I say we get out of here right now,
while the going...
Silence!
Who dares enter
the sacred and awesome presence...
of the everlasting know-it-all, Yogurt?
Yogurt?
You heard of me?
Heard of you? Who hasn't heard of Yogurt?
Yogurt, the wise.
Yogurt, the all-powerful.
Yogurt, the magnificent.
Please, don't make a fuss.
I'm just plain Yogurt.
- But you're the one...
- Yes.
I am the keeper of a greater magic...
a power known throughout the universe
as the...
- The Force?
- No. The Schwartz.
The Schwartz!
Yes, the Schwartz.
But, Yogurt, what is this place?
What is it that you do here?
Merchandising.
- Merchandising? What's that?
- Merchandising.
Come, I'll show you. Open up the store.
Come! Walk this way. Take a look.
We put the picture's name on everything!
Merchandising...
where the real money from the movie
is made.
Spaceballs, The T-shirt.
Spaceballs, The Coloring Book.
Spaceballs, The Lunch Box.Spaceballs, The Breakfast Cereal.
Spaceballs, The Flamethrower.
The kids love this one.
Last, but not least...
Spaceballs, The Doll. Me.
May the Schwartz be with you.
Adorable.
- President Skroob.
- What is it?
I have an urgent message from Lord Helmet.
He's lost the Princess.
- Where?
- Somewhere in the sands of Vega.
Tell them to comb the desert.
Do you hear me? Comb the desert!
Yes, sir.
- Sir?
- What?
Are we being too literal?
No, you fool. We're following orders.
We were told to comb the desert,
so we're combing it.
Found anything yet?
Nothing yet, sir.
How about you?
Not a thing, sir.
What about you guys?
We ain't found shit!
It's a big mystery. None of the wise men
could tell me what it means.
Wise men, pshaw. Wise guys, you mean.
What do they know?
Here, let me take a look.
You can read it!
No, I was just clearing my throat.
Here, let me take a...
- Oh, yes. Yes, of course!
- You understand it?
- Yes.
- What's it say?
I cannot tell you that now. It shall be
revealed to you at the proper time.
Great.
Come on, don't be disappointed.
Back to your Schwartz training.
Here, take the ring.
Point it at that big statue.
Okay. But I still don't understand...
how I'm going to lift that big statue
with this little ring.
Never underestimate
the power of the Schwartz!
Come on, concentrate! Here we go!
Concentrate.
Lone Starr, you're doing it!
I