the combination, no matter what.
Very well. Dr Schlotkin, do your worst.
My pleasure.
No! Wait! Wait!
I'll tell. I'll tell.
I knew it would work.
All right. Give it to me.
The combination is
one.
- One.
- One.
Two.
- Two.
- Two.
Three.
- Three.
- Three.
Four.
- Four.
- Four.
Five.
- Five.
- Five.
So the combination is
one, two, three, four, five.
That's the stupidest combination
I ever heard!
It's what an idiot has on his luggage.
Thank you, Your Highness.
- What did you do?
- I turned off the wall.
- No, you turned off the movie.
- Wrong button.
- Well, put it back up!
- Yes, sir!
You gotta get that thing fixed! We're back,
and we have the combination.
- Schlotkin!
- What?
We're done. Go back to the golf course
and work on your putts.
Let's go, Arnold. Come, Gretchen.
Of course I'll still have to bill you for this.
Oh! I bet she gives great helmet.
- Did it work?
- Yes, sir. We have the combination.
Great! Now we can take every last breath
of fresh air from Planet Druidia.
- What's the combination?
- One, two, three, four, five.
- One, two, three, four, five?
- Yes.
That's amazing. I've got
the same combination on my luggage.
- Prepare Spaceball One for departure.
- Yes, sir.
And change the combination
on my luggage.
There it is. Spaceball City straight ahead.
Good. I'm taking her in.
What the hell is that thing?
Looks like a Winnebago with wings. Jeez.
Hey, you can't park here!
Yeah. Can't you guys read? "No Parking".
That son of a...
All right, hands up.
You're under arrest for illegal parking.
Yeah!
Warden Miller. Warden Miller.
You're wanted in V17.
Attention, attention.
Section C scanners, report.
Nah.
- She's gotta be in one of these cells.
- Yeah, but which one?
- No.
- No.
- It's coming from here.
- That can't be her.
It's her!
She's a bass!
- What do you want?
- It's me!
- It's us!
- Lone Starr!
- How did you find us?
- No time to talk. Come on.
- We gotta move.
- Barf, how'd you do it?
Come on.
Hey, those are the guys
that stole our uniforms!
And beat the shit out of us, too!
Uh-oh, we got company!
Watch out!
Dammit! That's our only way out.
- We're trapped!
- I hate these movies.
- Oh. I'm out of ammo!
- Get back! I'll hold 'em off!
I got an idea!
- What are you doing?
- What's he doing?
Good work.
Uh-oh, more ping pongs! Run for it.
Let's go!
It's closing!
- The door's closing!
- Go for broke!
Don't move, or you're dead. Stand up!
Captain, we've got them.
Spectacular stunt, my friends.
But all for naught.
Turn around, please.
Ah, what a pity.
What a pity.
So, Princess, you thought you could
outwit the imperious force of...
You idiots! These are not them!
You've captured their stunt doubles!
Search the area. Find them!
Find them!
- Open the door!
- I can't. It's fused.
- And this one?
- It's locked.
- The keys?
- Inside.
- Oh, great!
- Duck!
- Here, you hold 'em off. I'll get the door.
- I'm not shooting this thing. I hate guns.
My hair! He shot my hair.
Son of a bitch!
Holy shit!
- How was that?
- Not bad.
- Not bad... for a girl.
- Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo.
Let's blow this joint.
President Skroob!
- Salute!
- Hail, Skroob!
The ship is too big.
If I walk, the movie'll be over.
- Sir.
- Yes? Ooh!
Never have that damn thing down
in front of me!
How do I know you're not
making faces at me under that?
President Skroob.
There it is. Planet Druidia.
Ah, Planet Druidia.
And 10,000 years of fresh air.
- Way he runs things, it won't last 100.
- What?
- Preparing ship for metamorphosis, sir.
- Good. Get on with it.
Ready, Kafka?
Look, it's Spaceball One.
- They've reached the airshield.
- And it's opening.
The ship's too big.
How they gonna get the air out?
I don't see any hoses.
What's happening?
The ship... is changing.
Oh, my gosh.
It's not just a spaceship.
It's a Transformer!
- It's changing into...
- A gigantic...
- Maid?
- With a