You think it's funny?
There's room to move as a fry cook.
I could be manager in two years.
King! God!
Kevin, I had this wild dream
the other night. - I bet.
It was you and me,
we were working in this sleazy motel,
down in Miami, Florida.
We were bellhops,
and we were 65 years old. It was
so real, it was really realistic.
Then what,
you woke up in a puddle?
Fuck you!
- Fucking jerk!
Where are you going, asshole?
- Away from you.
The Lord has told me personally: Yea,
for I walk with the Lord. Amen.
He said: "Larry, you and your flock
shall seek the Promised Land.
First you must destroy the twin evils
of godless communism abroad and
liberal humanism at home. Dh joy."
Hello mother! Hello father!
Anything to eat?
Dccasionally a viewer writes to us:
"The only reason Reverend Larry is
on TV is because he wants your money."
You know what? They're right. I want
your money, because God wants it.
So go out and
mortgage that home, and sell that car,
and send me your money.
You don't need that car...
Put it on a plate, son.
You'll enjoy it more.
I couldn't enjoy it any more, Mom.
This is swell!
Hey Dad...
- What is it, son?
Remember when you told me,
a long time ago...
well not too long ago...
that you'd give me 1000 dollars
to go to Europe, if I finished school?
You were right,
about finishing school.
That's what I'd like to do.
But I want to know if I could
have the money first. Like now?
I've always loved you, Dad.
You too, Mom. What do you say?
I don't have it anymore.
What? - Your father gave all
our extra money to the Reverend.
We're sending bibles to El Salvador.
And me? - You're on the honor roll
of "Chariots of Fire". Same as us.
It was a gift. From all of us.
So how much do I get paid? 25 bucks
a car? - Paid? You don't get paid.
You work on commission,
that's much better.
Most cars are worth 200 - 300 dollars.
A 50,000 dollar Porsche
might make you five grand.
Come on, dickhead!
It helps if you
dress like a detective.
Detectives dress kind of square.
If people think you're a cop,
they think you're packing something.
Then they won't fuck with you.
Are you? - Am I what?
- Packin' something.
Dnly an asshole gets killed for a car.
The guys who make it
get in their car at any time.
Get in at 3 AM,
get up at 4.
That's why there ain't a repo man
I know that don't take speed.
Speed, huh?
Jesus Christ!
Never broke into a car, never
hot-wired a car.
I never
broke into a trunk.
I shall not cause harm to a vehicle,
or the personal contents thereof.
Nor through inaction, let vehicle or
personal contents come to harm.
That's what I call the repo code, kid.
Don't forget it.
Etch it in your brain.
Not many people
got a code to live by anymore.
Look at those assholes over there!
Drdinary people. I hate them.
- Me too! - What do you know?
An ordinary person spends his life
avoiding tense situations.
A repo man spends his life
getting into tense situations.
Let's go get a drink.
Get into 5 or 6 tense situations a day
and it don't mean shit. I've seen
men stabbed, guns... don't mean shit!
That's when you got to watch yourself.
I'll handle it, pal, settle down.
Have a nice day, or night.
Day, night, it doesn't mean shit.
Wasn't that Dtto?
- Dtto who?
There'll be some
bad shit coming down one day.
Yeah, and where will you be?
Dn the moon?
I'm going to be right here,
heading north at 110 per.
In this junker?
Cool car!
The Rodriguez Brothers!
Motherfucker just flipped you off!
- Roll the window down!
Where you going, asshole?
- To fuck your wife!
Watch it, motherfucker!
- Fuck you, pussy punk!
Holy shit!
Want me to take them?
That was cool!
God damned dipshit Rodriguez
gypsy dildo punks!
I'll get your asses!
That was intense!
- A repo man's always intense.
Come on, let's go get a drink!
Gee Bud, you never told me
it was going to be like this.
Cops and robbers!
Real live car chases!
Debbi! - If you say our