a minute.
You're carrying all that crap
around in your purse.
Either you really wanna run away, or you
want people to think you wanna run away.
Eat shit!
The girl is an island
unto herself, okay?
Hi.
You wanna talk?
No.
Why not?
Go away.
Where do you want me to go? Go away!
- You have problems.
- Oh, I have problems.
You do everything everybody tells
you to do. That is a problem.
Okay, fine. But I didn't dump
my purse out on the couch...
and invite people
into my problems, did I?
So what's wrong?
What is it?
Is it bad?
Real bad?
Parents?
Yeah.
What did they do to you?
They ignore me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What did you wanna be
when you were young?
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be John Lennon.
Carl, don't be a goof.
I'm trying to make
a serious point here.
Carl, I've been teaching
for 22 years.
And each year, these kids
get more and more arrogant.
Oh, bullshit, man.
Come on, Vern.
- The kids haven't changed,
you have.
You took a teaching position 'cause
you thought it'd be fun, right?
Thought you could have
summer vacations off.
And then you found out it was actually
work. That really bummed you out.
These kids turned on me.
They think I'm a big
fucking joke. Come on.
Listen, Vern. If you were 16,
what would you think of you?
Hey, Carl, you think I give one
rat's ass what these kids think of me?
Yes, I do.
You think about this.
When you get old, these kids...
when I get old... they're gonna be
running the country.
Yeah.
Now this is the thought that wakes
me up in the middle of the night.
When I get older, these kids
are gonna take care of me.
I wouldn't count on it.
What would I do
for a million bucks?
I guess I'd do
as little as I had to.
That's boring. Well, how
am I supposed to answer?
The idea is to, like, search your mind
for the absolute limit.
Like, um... would you
drive to school naked?
Um... would I have to
get out of the car?
- Of course.
- In the spring or winter?
Doesn't matter. Spring.
In front of the school
or in back of the school?
- Either one.
- Yes.
I'd do that.
I'll do anything sexual. I don't need
a million dollars to do it either.
- You're lying.
- I already have.
I've done just about everything there
is, except a few things that are illegal.
- I'm a nymphomaniac.
- Lie.
Are your parents
aware of this?
The only person I told
was my shrink.
What did he do
when you told him?
He nailed me.
Very nice.
I don't think that
from a legal standpoint...
what he did can be construed as rape
since I paid him.
- He's an adult.
- Yeah. He's married too.
Oh! Do you have any idea
how completely gross that is?
Well, the first few
times... The first few times?
You mean, he did it
more than once? Sure.
Are you crazy? Obviously she's
crazy if she's screwing her shrink.
Have you ever done it?
I don't even have a psychiatrist.
Have you ever done it
with a normal person?
- Didn't we already cover this?
- You never answered the question.
Look. I'm not going to discuss
my private life with total strangers.
It's kind of a
double-edged sword, isn't it?
A what? If you say you
haven't, you're a prude.
If you say you have,
you're a slut. It's a trap.
You want to,
but you can't.
And when you do, you wish
you didn't, right? Wrong.
Or are you a tease?
She's a tease. I'm sure.
Why don't you forget it?
You're a tease and you know
it. All girls are teases.
- She's only a tease if what she does gets you hot.
- I don't do anything!
- That's why you're a tease.
- Okay, let me ask you a few questions.
I already told you everything. No.
Doesn't it bother you to sleep around
without being in love? Don't you want respect?
I don't screw
to get respect.
That's the difference
between you and me.
It's not the only difference
I hope.
Face it, you're a tease.
I'm not a tease.
Sure you are.
Sex is your weapon.
You said it yourself.
You use it to get respect.
No, I never said that.
She twisted my words