patsak
it's not nice, my friend...
I said - take us to the town!
And what's this?
A shed.
And what's this? What's this?
What's this here - not a town?!
You're trying to make fools of us.
Show us your gravitsapa.
It's a trade thing. We'll take it.
Patsak!
What kind of idiots have I got here
who give me contraband ktse in front of witnesses...
...when for that you'll get
life imprisonment lying on nails?
Have you got a brain in your head or Kyoo?
We'll buy it ourselves. Come on.
Stop! Stop I say!
Who are you? I asked, who are you?
The new foreman.
No. You're a patsak. And who are you?
I'm a Georgian.
No, You're a patsak too. You're a patsak,
you're a patsak and he's a patsak.
But I'm chatlanian, and they are chatlanian.
So you wear the tsak and sit in
the pepelats, understand?
What?
Watch when I point this device at myself,
my friend... which point registers? Green.
Now at him, watch - green too.
And at you...Green.
Now look at Uef - which colour?
Orange?
Because he is Chatlanian!
Well, do you understand?
So what?
Pluk is the Chatlanian planet.
Therefore we, Patsaks, must wear the tsak...
Yes, and in front of we Chatlanians
you must do this...
Vladimir Nikolaevich, it's unashamed racism.
Show us again, please.
Like this!
If you would, a little slower...
Like this.
Vladimir Nikolaevich, you have a wife at home,
a son doing badly at school,
a cooperative flat you haven't paid for,
and you're here...you're brain has gone.
It's ended pretty badly, my friend.
Very well, Skripach, let's play their games...
There we are, well done.
Now give a match to Uef, and he will buy the gravitsapa.
But it was said that you need them all.
I was joking.
Very funny.
Wait.  We'll go together...
Don't show them your ktse, and don't think about them.
You show them my ktse.
And don't give them more than half a match.
Gravitsapa costs half a match.
Your Patsak said a whole match.
And he was joking.
Grade 300 cement?
Patsak! Remember - Half or less.
Okay.
Excuse me - Chatlanian and Patsak - is it nationality?
No.
Biological factor?
No.
From different planets?
No.
So what distinguishes you from one another?
Are you colour blind, Skripach?
Green differs from orange doesn't it?
Tourist!
Wow!
Skyscraper!
Come on!

Hello, citizen. You won't feel the cold
in that coat, eh?
They will keep me out. They will let you in.
Don't give them ktse,
bring the gravitsapa here, and I'll look at it.
Come on...
Not you!
We're together!
Not you!
Vladimir Nikolaevich, tell him!
It's alright.
Wait here.
Only don't go anywhere!
Hi!
How's life?
You say, bow... but out of respect
for the ladies present...
Well what's new on Pluk?
Lay down the ktse, and you'll get the gravitsapa.
Half?
Half.
Can I look at it?
Look.
In general I am not a specialist on these gravitsapa...
...so let's go and show it to my Chatlanian.
He'll examine it.
Right. Let's fit the Tsapa.
Bad throat?
Water...
I have a proposal.
I'll give you that ktse...
and you give me two bottles of water.
Agreed?
Let's do it.
Do you have any food?
Kasha...
What sort?
Plastic.
So if I give you a whole ktse, you'll give me
five bottles of water and a kilo of kasha.
For what?
Ktse.
we need to check it again.
Check it!
Oi, just a second!
Wait...
Skripach! Can you obtain more matches on Earth?
I can.
If you can spit this further,
I'll give you a half chatl.
Like so... spit.
If I can, you give me two matches....
Do you see?
No.
It's just a game. I give you half a chatl,
you give me three matches.
Go ahead, spit, my son.
Thank you, I'd rather not.
Well fine. Give me one match,
or I give you three chatla,
yellow trousersand these odds.
Go on!
No!
Blue trousers...
Mr Uef, I will not enter such
terms and conditions.
Are you going to change your mind?
Why are you annoying me, maimoona verishvilo?
Mr. Uef! I represent a civilized planet,
and I demand that you follow our