you watch your mouth?
CLARK: There's a note.
"Have gone to Flagstaff.
Be back on Monday."
What a worm!
ELLEN: It's locked!
CLARK: Okay, let's go!
We can't leave her on the patio!
Should I slip her in the night-deposit box
at the funeral home?
Come on!
It's raining all over her!
She can't catch a cold now, Mom!
We have to at least say something.
Okay, bow your heads, bow your heads.
Oh, God...
Ease our suffering in this,
our moment of great despair!
Admit this good and decent woman
into thine arms and the flock...
...in thine heavenly area up there.
And Moab he laideth down
behind the land of the Canaanites.
CLARK: And, yea, though the Hindus speak
of karma...
Clark!
I implore you, give her a break.
Clark!
"Hallelujah"
Clark, this is a serious matter!
I'll do it myself!
Honey, I'm not an ordained minister!
I'm doing my best, okay?
Lord, we love this woman
with all our hearts!
Let's not overdo it, Mom!
Shut up!
We know she deserves better than this...
...but my husband wants his beloved family
to get to Walley World...
...to have their vacation!
I hope you understand!
Have mercy on his soul!
Amen! Let's go!
ELLEN: I hope you kids have learned
something about life and death!
AUDREY: Yeah! Don't die
unless someone is home!
I think Normie will understand...
...when he sees the note
we pinned on Edna's sleeve.
Sure! You left his dead mother
tied to a lawn chair in his backyard!
I'm sure he won't mind!
It's all over and done with!
We'll find a motel and start fresh
in the morning.
I don't want to be in the car anymore.
I want to go home!
I don't want to go to Walley World!
ELLEN: Clark, under the circumstances,
I would rather we just go home.
In retrospect, driving across country
has been one disaster after another!
Yeah, it's been a real drag, Dad!
Maybe we can try it some other time.
RUSTY: Walley World's overrated anyway.
What do you think?
I think you're all fucked in the head.
We're ten hours from the fucking
fun park and you want to bail out.
Well, I'll tell you something.
This is no longer a vacation!
It's a quest!
It's a quest for fun.
CLARK: I'm going to have fun
and you're going to have fun.
We're golng to have so much fucklng fun...
...we'll need plastic surgery
to remove our goddamn smiles.
You'll be whistling "zippity-doo-dah"
out of your assholes!
I must be crazy. I'm on a pilgrimage
to see a moose.
Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!
Dad, do you want an aspirin or something?
Don't touch!
The next time you have one
of your outbursts...
...l'd appreciate it if you'd have
some consideration for your kids.
CLARK: What are you talking about?
You don't know?
All I know is I'm trying to treat my family
to a little fun!
Spare me, Clark!
I know your brand of family fun.
Tomorrow you'll probably
kill the desk clerk...
...hold up a McDonald's,
and drive us a thousand miles...
...to see the world's largest ball of mud!
CLARK: You know what your problem is?
You have a knack for looking
at the dark side of things.
That's your problem.
You wouldn't know a good time
if it came up and bit you!
Where are you going?
What do you care?
Are you waiting for someone?
No! Do you mind if I sit down?
Fancy seeing you here.
Having a nice little family vacation?
Oh! No.
It would appear so, wouldn't it?
No, the truth of it is,
and this is highly confidential...
...I own this motel.
CLARK: I own the whole chain, nationwide.
Twenty-two hundred units.
Yeah, once a year,
I travel across the country, incognito.
I check things out,
and see how the operation is running.
I thought you were going to say
you worked for the CIA.
That's an old bit, isn't it?
Really.
No, I'm not with the CIA.
I was, but that was a long time ago.
I don't like to talk about it.
No, I'm mainly interested
in my motels now...
And my airline.
That's great.
I'm just trying to have a little fun.
It's a shame you're married.
I'm in the mood for some fun.