we're lost.
CLARK: We're not lost!
Would you please let me do the drlvlng.
ELLEN: I don't thlnk you'll flnd
the Grand Canyon on thls road.
CLARK: Jesus, It's only the blggest
goddamn hole In the world!
EDNA: Clark, watch your language!
CLARK: Make that the second-blggest.
Dad, I haven't seen a car for an hour!
Shut up, Audrey!
Dad knows where he's going.
Thank you.
You're lost!
I saw some detour signs!
CLARK: I didn't see any.
I saw them when you and Mom
were trying to fold the map.
When they close a road
they put up big signs.
Like this one.
[All scream]
[Fast-paced instrumental music,
background]
[Edna groans]
I think I broke my nose!
I stabbed my brain.
AUDREY: I just got my period.
I'd better check under the hood.
ELLEN: Audrey, gather up all the clothes,
and put them in a pile.
Rusty, find the first-aid kit,
then bring the suitcases here.
Where can I go to the bathroom?
Find a bush, Audrey!
RUSTY: Dad, you must've jumped the car
about 50 yards!
CLARK: It's nothing to be proud of, Rusty.
Fifty yards.
EDNA: Ellen, get me out of here!
Stay in the car!
It's hot and dangerous out here!
Don't you tell me what to do!
I'll do what I want!
I should never have come
on this trip with you!
I should have taken an airplane!
And he shouldn't even have a license
to drive an automobile.
He should be behind bars!
Sit down and shut up!
ELLEN: Move out of that seat,
and I'll split your lip!
[Bird chirping]
Rusty, come up here!
I'll have to hike down the road
to find a service station.
CLARK: I want you to stay here
and take care of things.
Will you be okay?
Oh, sure.
I haven't had a chance to talk to you,
man to man.
I've only been a man a few days, Dad.
You're growing up so damn fast.
I've spent the last 15 years...
...developing newer
and better food additives.
I guess I've missed a lot.
At first, I didn't want to take this vacation.
Now, I'm glad I did.
It has given me a chance
to spend more time with you and...
Audrey.
Audrey. Yeah.
It's been fun for me, too, Dad.
Except for Aunt Edna.
She doesn't mean to be a pain in the rump.
It's just the way she is.
Let's not let it spoil our fun.
I won't.
Maybe she'd be nicer
if she had a family of her own.
Instead of always having to glom
onto someone else's.
You're a pretty bright little guy.
Excuse me... man.
[Clark sobs]
It's okay.
Do you know what I want to do?
When I was your age,
my dad shared a beer with me.
I thought it was the best thing ever.
When I was a boy, just about
every summer we'd take a vacation.
In 18 years, we never had fun.
Now, I have my own family.
We're on our own vacation.
You know something?
What, Dad?
We're going to have fun.
We're going to have fun.
[Rusty burps]
Don't let your mother smell beer
on your breath.
She'll take it out on me.
I better get moving if I want
to get us out of here by dark.
Good talk, Son.
Good talk, Dad.
Clark?
CLARK: I just had a good talk with Rusty.
You'll be in good hands here, honey.
Where are you going?
There must be a phone or a gas station
around here, honey.
All right, but if you're not back
in an hour...
I'll be fine. You'll be fine.
I'm sure this happens all the time.
A patrol car will be by any minute.
CLARK: [Sings]
"Over the river and through the woods
"To Grandmother's house we go..."
"A thousand bottles of beer on the wall
"Four bottles of beer
"If one of those bottles
should happen to fall..."
"I love a parade
"The trampling of feet,
I love the beat I hear of a drum
"I love a parade"
CLARK: We pass a goddamn gas station
every 100 yards for 1,000 miles!
But when you need one,
you end up walking your ass off.
This is no way to run a desert!
Jesus! I'm going to die!
INDIAN: What an asshole!
[Horse snorts]
[Slow instrumental music, background]
CLARK: Taxi. Taxi!
I'm dead.
I'm dying. I'm dead. I'm finished.
[Clark gasping]
Hot! Hot!