's common...
In Maracana stadium, in Rio
with 200,000 people present,
a new car was offered
to the person who would happen to have
his mother-in-law's photograph on him.
There were no takers.
Is it scary? We agreed to tell scary stories.
Why don't you tell one?
Or better you, Volodya.
Nothing scary ever happened to me.
Here's a scary story from life.
Some 10 years ago
I was giving an important lecture.
I was nervous.
And there in the front row,
right under my nose,
was a young cheeky bastard
with a sweet naive look.
Tossing messages across the hall.
Because, do you see,
he fancies a striking brunette
in the far corner.
And he does not even wait
for me to turn away.
I got all hot. Well, I thought,
in a moment I'll throttle you.
We've been friends since.
- Recognised himself.
- Let Yura tell something.
He's just returned from Cambodia.
Yura, please.
Scary story.
Here's one.
The year is 1961.
The Ambassador calls me and says
we have to go to a royal reception.
We go.
Two blocks short, the limo stops.
The motor dies.
What to do? It's a scandal.
You can't go to the royal palace
by taxi or on foot.
Question: where to get a limo?
Have you ever taken curare
as an experiment?
It's the Indian's poison. Kills instantly.
- Speaking of poisons...
- Those two doctors
in Kiev, they did it.
Amazing guys.
- I remember, I heard it on the radio.
Of course. We listen to the radio every day.
Phone in the questions.
Nothing goes unanswered.
Have YOU ever taken curare? You, Alik?
Not me.
I've never taken curare.
I dealt with nicer poisons.
Lilac, for instance.
I spent four days once
in some lilac bushes.
- Like in the song.
- Exactly.
There was just one small
inconvenience.
Their tanks were all around.
And our minefield in front.
That lilac grew in huge clusters.
Like this.
Hanging in my cross hairs.
Since then I cannot stand the smell of lilacs.
And bird cherry, for good measure.
- So what's the inference?
- I wish I knew.
Let's ask Vladik.
- Picnic proved...
- ... perfectly pleasant...
- participants...
- ... plainly plastered.
- Proceeding...
- ... to play pranks...
- ... postponing...
- ... peaceful...
- ... paralysis.
- Let's switch to L.
- Let's.
- Leaf...
- ... levitates...
- Love lasts...
Where's Lena?
Lena!
Why are you shouting? I'm in the car.
Knight g1 to f3.
Knight b8 to c6.
Can you keep up?
Third move. Bishop f1 to b5.
A7 to a6.
Bishop b5 moves to a4.
Why silent? Are you unwell?
No.
- Maybe you'll explain what happened?
- Nothing.
All right, what about tomorrow?
Who calls when?
I don't know.
- OK, I'll call. In the evening.
- Don't.
- What?
- I said, don't. Don't call.
Lena, it's me! Have I woken you?
Zhenya, you've gone mad.
Do you know the time?
- No, what is it?
- It's night. - Night.
- Are you standing up or sitting down?
- I'm sleeping!
No, I don't want you to sleep,
you mustn't.
- Can you go out?
- Go out where?
- Outside.
- What happened?
Can you wake lightly
and regain your vision?
What?
Empty your heart of wordy rubbish,
and live a clean uncluttered life?
- Have you been drinking?
- I have.
Frankly, I am roaring drunk.
Suppose this is my birthday.
Can that happen?
Of course, many happy returns.
And live a clean uncluttered life,
the knack is easy to acquire...
Maybe next time?
I'm hanging up.
Wait!
If you hang up, I'll dial again.
I'll ring all night long,
your neighbours will submit a complaint.
I'm 30 today.
It's not an insignificant figure,
if one considers.
30 years old...
Hello, are you there?
- Yes, I'm here.
I didn't try to see you,
I just needed to call.
To listen to your voice,
to say whatever I think.
And not bother about it sounding
silly or naive or whatever.
- Do you hear me?!
- Yes.
- Can you talk now?
- No.
- Well, then...
- No, go on.
But I want everything to be for real,
do you see?
So that one could... die...
But do something big...
To exceed one's