become a tsar?
- What? Are you really rehearsing?
That's how he, sly fox, is paying
for the good I've done him?
He wants to be a tsar
and take all tsardom in his hand!
Death, that's what he deserves!
Oh, my God, what a character!
Bravo! Bravo!
Please, go on!
Why did you hurt this Boyar woman,
you lowly man?
It's great! It's amazing!
He's a genius!
Listen, I can't recognize you in your
makeup. Who are you?
Sergey Bondarchuk?
No.
Oh, you're Yuri Nikulin!
No, no, no.
Oh, my God!
Innokenty Smoktunovsky!
Kesha!
Why didn't you tell me?
- You vagabond, you vile shrimp!
- Are you crazy?
There, get it,
son of a bitch!
Oh, my God!
You scoundrel! Son of a bitch!
Damned adulterer!
He is a real tsar!
Help! Somebody! Call the police!
On your knees, you worm!
I've caught you, Yakin! Adulterer
and son of a bitch!
Pray, son of a bitch!
This is your last prayer!
- Oh, you're rehearsing?
- Yes, we're rehearsing.
What do you mean, rehearsing?
Call the police!
- Where are You going?
- I'm here. I'm here.
You act very well!
And the tsar looks very authentic...
He looks just like Bunsha.
I've been robbed, Zinaida Mikhailovna.
I'm waiting for the police with dogs.
Who do you belong to?
Excuse me, comrade actor,
but what do you mean, "belong"?
- Whose serf are You?
- Sorry, but I don't understand you.
A very stupid serf!
Excuse me, but why do you keep
calling me a serf?
- Where Did You get that word?
- It's from the part he's playing.
That part is denigrating!
Please, don't apply it to me!
Oh, God! Some apartment house!
They rob you, they call you names!
We'll never win the honorary title of
a house of cultured communal living.
This is an outrage! An outrage!
Well, lascivious shrimp, beg the Boyar
woman if she giveth you life or death!
- Life.
- Life. Life.
Be merciful, O great tsar!
Life?
Be it your way.
Listen to me, Karp,
but, please, don't get excited.
This is the real lvan the Terrible!
Do you remember I was telling you
about the time machine?
Well, Shurik did succeed with
that experiment!
- But he could have killed me!
- And would have done good!
It's crazy!
What do you mean, lvan the Terrible?
He's been long dead!
- Who's dead?
- I didn't mean you.
I mean the other one,
the one who's been dead...
- Did You seduce the Boyar woman?
- Yes, I did.
I am he... that liveth...
What do you mean, you liveth,
vile dog? Look at yourself!
Liveth!
- Help me. Say something in Slavonic.
- Thy!
Thy... thy cherub.
Your Excellency, have mercy!
You have misunderstood me.
How can I understand you,
if you don't say anything?
I don't know foreign languages,
your highness.
- Do You love this Boyar woman?
- I'm crazy about her!
Look at her! Beauteous to behold,
crimson in her lips, crescents in her
brows!
- What more do you want, dog?
- Nothing!
Then marry her, fool!
The prince is letting her go.
I'm asking for your hand,
Zinaida Mikhailovna!
Hello? Galya? You're going to fall
down! I've got great news!
Yakin has left his witch,
and we're going to Gagry.
Well, you sinning beard! Should I
hear that you've done something...
- I swear!
- Don't interrupt the tsar!
- Yes, Sire!
- I'm giving you one of my coats.
- Thank him! Thank him!
- Thou art... I thank thee humbly!
Sire!
You can't stay here
looking like this!
People might think I don't know what.
Oh, God Almighty!
I forgot where I am, O Lord!
I've forgotten everything!
You must change your clothes,
lvan Vassilyevich!
Oh, the demons' garb!
A temptation...
My mind is all confused.
The coat, the Tsar lvan the Terrible...
Stop being so fidgety! Well, it is
lvan the Terrible. So what? Big deal!
You had better go
and help the tsar change.
Yes, ma'am.
Hello? Vava?
You'll never believe it!
Oh, my God!
He looks so much like our Bunsha!
- Pah!
- It looks very good on you.
- Dear Tsar, we must go.
- Perchance... we shalt...
We have a plane to catch.
Godspeed!
May we thank you for