KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
GIVE IT TO ME,
SWEETHEART.
DON'T PULL ANY PUNCHES.
THE KID CAN TAKE IT.
WELL,
THE KID COULD TAKE IT,
ONLY YOU'RE NOT A KID
ANY LONGER.
HA. SONNY,
I'M GONNA LEVEL WITH YOU.
HUH?
ONE GOOD IMPACT HERE...
OW.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU'RE GONNA BE PARALYZED...
FROM THE NECK DOWN,
NOTHING MOVES.
NOTHING?
YEAH,
EVEN YOUR DING-DONG.
DING-DONG.
LOOK, SONNY,
I'M NOT SAYING IT'LL HAPPEN,
BUT YOU COULD DIE.
WELL, MY DING-DONG
AIN'T GONNA WORK,
I DON'T WANNA LIVE.
ALL RIGHT.
THE ODDS ARE AGAINST YOU.
IF YOU WERE A HORSE,
I'D SHOOT YOU.
Hooper: I BET A BIG 5.
EL FOLDO.
AN EL FOLDO.
THE STAR EL FOLDOS.
EL FOLDO.
WELL, I'LL SEE IT.
HERE COME THE BIGGIES.
SCREW THE BIGGIES.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT.
YOU CAN'T USE THAT THING.
WHAT IS THAT?
IT'S MY POCKET COMPUTER.
WELL, YOU CAN'T USE
THE VERKHAKHTE COMPUTER.
SHOW ME WHERE IT SAYS
I CAN'T,
AND I'LL PUT IT UP.
HMM.
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOUR 5,
AND I'LL RAISE YOU 5.
I'LL JUST USE
MY MANUALLY OPERATED
POKER SENSE
AGAINST YOUR
MECHANICAL WIZARDRY,
AND I'LL BUMP YOU
A QUARTER.
HIGH ROLLER, HUH?
Scott:
LOOK AT THAT, GANG.
Hooper: WHO IS THAT GUY?
THAT'S THE WRITER.
WELL, HE LOOKS
A LITTLE MIFFED.
YOU THINK ROGER
DIDN'T LIKE HIS SCRIPT?
I THINK SO.
HA HA.
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
I GOT A PAIR OF 4s.
PAIR OF 7s.
HA HA HA.
PAIR OF 7s.
3 ACES.
HA HA HA.
IT WAS
A CALCULATED RISK.
SO WAS THE EDSEL.
YOU LIKE TO SIT IN
FOR A HAND, MR. BERNS?
THANKS, CULLY,
BUT I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.
WELL, YOU CHARACTERS,
YOU DID IT THIS TIME.
HOW'S THAT?
ROGER.
YOU GOT HIM SO EXCITED,
HE'S REWRITING THE SCRIPT...
PUTTING A WHOLE BUNCH
OF NEW GAGS IN FOR YOU.
WHAT, DOES HE WANT US
TO BLOW UP L.A.?
IT'S NO JOKE, SONNY.
THE WRITER WAS A LITTLE UPSET,
AS YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED.
I FOUGHT IT.
AND THE STUDIO IS BACKING HIM
ALL THE WAY.
THEY SAY IT'S HIS BALL GAME.
SO TOMORROW MORNING AT 8:00,
ON STAGE 6,
HE'S HAVING A MEETING
WITH YOU FELLAS
AND HE'S GONNA SHOW YOU
A GREAT IDEA FOR A NEW ENDING.
BIGGEST EARTHQUAKE EVER.
YOU GUYS ARE TRYING
TO DRIVE TO SAFETY.
THE FIRST THING WE DO
IS COLLAPSE THIS BUILDING
INTO A GIANT CREVICE.
Giant crevice.
NOW, YOU'RE DRIVING
THROUGH EXPLOSIONS,
BODIES FLYING EVERYWHERE,
FIRE AND...
YOU'RE JUST ABOUT
TO REACH SAFETY
WHEN BAM...
WE BLOW THE BRIDGE.
THEN YOU FELLAS
WILL HAVE TO RAPPEL DOWN
INTO THE GORGE...
THERE'LL BE A LOT OF FIRE
AND SMOKE AND EXPLOSIONS...
UP THE OTHER SIDE TO SAFETY.
ALL IN ONE SHOT?
ALL IN ONE SHOT.
FLAMES, EXPLOSIONS, DEATH.
EVERYTHING.
AND YOU GUYS LEAPING OUT OF IT
TO TRIUMPH.
ISN'T IT A GREAT IDEA?
IT'S A GREAT IDEA,
ROGER.
I CAN'T IMAGINE
ANYTHING BETTER.
WHY NOT JUMP A CAR
OVER THE GORGE?
SKI, WILL YOU KNOCK IT
OFF WITH THE JOKES?
NO, NO, NO.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SKI?
Ski: YOU'D HAVE THE BIGGEST,
BEST CAR STUNT EVER DONE.
WHAT KIND OF CAR COULD LEAP
A GORGE THAT WIDE?
A ROCKET CAR
COULD MAKE IT.
WELL, I DON'T LIKE IT.
IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT,
DO WE WRITE YOU OFF?
CLIFF...
OH, THEY COULD MAKE IT,
COULDN'T THEY?
SURE THEY COULD
MAKE IT!
CLIFF...
WHAT'S THE LONGEST JUMP
A ROCKET CAR'S EVER MADE?
Cliff: BUDDY JOE TOOK ONE
187 FEET ONCE.
HOW FAR IS THIS?
Cliff: 325 FEET.
COULD YOU BEEF UP
THE SUSPENSION,
BUILD A CAGE STRONG ENOUGH
TO PROTECT SKI AND I WHEN
WE LANDED ON THE OTHER SIDE?
I COULD BUILD A CAR
LIKE THAT,
BUT I CAN'T TELL
HOW IT WOULD LAND.
THAT'S 325 FEET,
SONNY.
I KNOW HOW FAR IT IS,
CLIFF.
HELL, IT'D BE
A NEW WORLD'S RECORD.
WOULDN'T DO MY REPUTATION
ANY HARM.
SONNY,
THINK OF THE RISK.
FORGET ABOUT THE RISK,
MAX.
JUST BRING
YOUR CHECKBOOK.
HOOPER...
Hooper: HUH?
WHAT'S YOUR FEE
FOR A GAG LIKE THAT?
$100,000.
$50,000 FOR SKI,
$50,000 FOR ME.
IT'S THE WORLD'S
BIGGEST STUNT.
IT OUGHTA HAVE
THE WORLD'S
BIGGEST PAYCHECK.
WELL, LOOK, WILL YOU BOYS
WAIT OVER THERE A MINUTE?
I WANT TO DISCUSS THIS
WITH ROGER.
OF COURSE. OF COURSE.
WE CAN DO IT, CLIFF.
ALL YOU GOTTA