of here!
- We're gonna be famous.
- Are you okay?
- Ah, it's just my pride.
We'll go home, Ducky.
All right.
Hey!
- Little tune, I never finished.
- You play pretty good.
I had a group in high school.
Howard and the Heartbreakers.
Oh, heavy, Howard, very heavy.
Maybe you should be our manager.
Wait a second.
Maybe you're just the kind
of bazaar influence we need.
- Forget it. No more jobs here.
- I think you'd be a great manager.
- I'm gonna suggest it to the girls.
- I've given up trying to assimilate.
I've gotta get back
to my own kind.
Although...
I have developed a greater
appreciation...
for the female version of the
human anatomy.
Howard,
you really are the worst.
Come on,
let's watch David Letterman.
Come on.
- Okey-dokey.
- You know...
I got a felling my life's really
gonna change...
- since you fell into it, Ducky.
- Yeah, well...
- I'm glad somebody's happy.
- If I could just get...
my career back on course
I'd only have...
the old standard worry left.
- What's that?
- I just can't seem...
- to find the right man.
- Maybe it's not a man...
you should be looking for.
You think I might find happiness
in the animal kingdom, Ducky?
Like they say, doll, love's strange.
We could always give it a try.
Okay...
Let's go for it, Mr. Macho.
What do you mean? Okay?
It was a joke.
- Listen, I'm pretty tired.
- It's just that you're so...
- incredibly soft and cuddly.
- Bev, let's be realistic.
I mean, my apartment's zillions
of miles from here.
- You're three feet taller that I am.
- I just can't resist...
your intense
animal magnetism.
Anyway, where will it all lead?
Marriage, kids...
- a house in the suburbs?
- Let's just face it.
- It's fate.
- No, it's not!
- I've got a headache.
- And I've got the aspirin.
Be gentle.
Just one good night kiss
sweet Ducky?
Come on, Howard,
I was just kidding.
Good night.
My God.
This relationship...
- it defies all the laws of nature.
- No, it doesn't.
This is not what you think.
We're just very good friends.
- Phil?
- I'm sorry. The door was open.
- Who the hell are they?
- This is my friend Carter...
and, this is Dr. Walter Jenning.
And I told them all about you...
- Howard.
- You were obviously right.
- Show, show him the evidence.
- What evidence?
We tested them, and they're both
from the same fowl.
You, Howard.
- My feathers?
- Howard, Howard, don't go beserk!
- No!
- On my planet, we never say die...
- we say kill!
- Now, wait a minute.
Listen to me, Small Visitor.
I can explain
how you got here.
Dr Jenning is in charge of the
Astro-Physics Lab at Dyna-Technics.
- Now, on the night of September 18th.
- That's the night Howard landed.
Yes, now on that night we were
initiating our first full scale...
- test of the Laser Spectra scope.
- It was shot during the experiment.
It was just a routine procedure
meant to measure...
the density of the gases that
surround the Alpha Centauri.
However, part way through the
experiment, there was a...
a deviation and...
we lost control of the
laser spectra scope.
- What do you mean "lost control"?
- Some unknown force...
was re-directing the laser beam from
its original target so that it hit...
- your planet instead.
- Hit my planet?
How about hitting my living room?
Talk about an invasion of privacy?
When the beam hit, you must have
been caught up in a massive...
energy inversion, which literally
dragged you through space...
back to the power source
here on earth.
- Radical.
- In the lab that night...
we saw a single feather fall.
We weren't aware that the rest
of you, Howard...
had landed in that alley just
two miles away. Any questions?
Yeah.
Where are my pants?
- Howard, where you going?
- To this lab of theirs.
- What for?
- To hop back on board...
that laser thing. Then all you have
to do is hit the reverse lever...
to send me back home.
Right?
Well, we hadn't considered
reversing the process.
-