doctor.
Plastic surgeon, making big bucks,
doing big jobs, tail tucks.
- What happened?
- I dropped out.
And I decided to educate myself
in the real world, on the streets.
So, I wrote songs at night
and did construction work by day.
That sounds great.
You know, I write songs too.
- What kind of...
- Listen, it doesn't matter.
It was all a pipe dream.
I got so tired of everyone saying...
"Grow up, Howard".
I guess I finally did.
Last month I got what
they call a "promising job".
- Yeah? Doing what?
- Advertising copywriter.
Only two things touch my feathers,
this "Oil of Night Fowl" and him.
I wrote that.
Howard, it sort of sounds
like you sold out.
Maybe. But sometimes
I still get this feeling...
there's some kind of
special destiny waiting for me.
Howard, that's it.
Maybe that's why you're here.
- What?
- I mean, I believe that...
there are no accidents
in the Universe.
Maybe you're here
for some greater purpose.
- Some cosmic cause.
- Are you nuts?
I got no intention
of being stranded here.
I gotta get back.
How, is another matter.
Yeah, right.
We got get some help.
But, Howard...
Geez.
Howard?
What am I gonna
do with you, Ducky?
- This is humiliating.
- I just don't want people...
- freaking out all over the place.
- What about me?
I'm gonna have to see
a psychiatrist every day...
- for the rest of my life.
- Relax, we're almost there.
- Goody.
- Phil's a scientist. He can help.
- Howard, this isn't working.
- Tell me about it.
Can I give you
a hand with that.
- No, we're doing...
- What's in the bag?
I'm doing just fine,
thank you very much.
Let me out of here.
- Excuse me. Can I help with that?
- No!
Yes!
Why are we stopping?
- Hi.
- Hi, Beverly.
We had an appointment.
We got here as fast as we could.
Listen, everybody, this is it!
I've just seen it!
It's in there!
It's a...
It's nothing!
It's nothing, never mind.
Carry on, Dr. Chapin.
This is amazing.
Man's oldest fantasy.
Across a sea of stars!
Look up in the sky!
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
- No, it's a duck!
- Phil, you gotta help us!
- What are we gonna do?
- Nice, Ducky.
Me, Phil, you Howard.
We be friends.
Me Phil, you Howard.
We be friends.
Undoubtedly on of Earth's
greatest minds here.
Phil, don't talk to him like that.
He's just as smart as you are.
- Now I'm really depressed.
- Highly intelligent, perhaps even...
Wait, that's it.
We're about to see...
if subject has any abilities
we don't have on Earth, any...
- What?
- Shall we say, super powers?
Howard, can you bend this?
- What are you, crazy?
- Howard...
can you burn a hole through
this with some kind of eye laser?
Can I bite your nose off
with my super bill?
Howard, quit holding out.
I want you to concentrate...
- and read my mind.
- Right. You're thinking...
"They know I'm a phony.
They know I'm a yo-yo."
Tell me if I'm warm
on any of these, Phil.
I want you to look into the future
and tell me what you see.
- I see myself walking out that door!
- Yeah, me too.
- No, no, no, wait! You can't leave.
- Yeah, why not?
Because there are papers
to be written, there's research...
to be done and there's symposiums
to give, lecture tours.
Howard, we are on our way
to the Science Hall of Fame.
Look out Darwin! Look out Einstein!
Hello, Nobel Prize!
We are not here to
make you famous, Blumburtt.
Beverly, listen, I never
bad-mouthed others...
in the scientific fraternity but
you bring in an alien in a bag...
to most guys and
whamo they are talking.
Let's cut him into little pieces and
see what color his organs are.
I just wanna know,
"A", what I'm doing here...
and "B",
how I'm gonna get back?
Piece of cake.
"A" I'm just the guy to help...
and that's because "B",
I've already got a theory.
- What theory?
- Well, this is, of course...
the evolutionary ladder
showing how man progressed...
- from monkey, to me, for instance.
- You consider that progress?
You're all