should spin around
for a very long time
"I'm feeling so high
"That I just can't stand it
"It's as though I've been here
"For at least a week"
The Royal Imperial Windsor Hotel.
Want me to give you a hand with that?
If you could just get that stuff in...
Carry that. I'll get the luggage out.
Rusty, we could use your help.
I can get these bags.
Sure I can't help?
Ellen, do you have any money?
- Would you pay?
- No problem.
Camembert cheese is also produced
on a large scale...
...molded by the thousands
in giant factories.
Hello!
Top of the evening. I'm Clark Griswald
from the United States of America.
I believe we have reservations for four.
No, you're scuppered, mate.
The place is full of macaroons.
I could get on the dog and
blow to my mate in Whitechapel.
Dad, he's speaking English.
I know.
This is from the Pig in a Poke show.
They said there'd be rooms for four
and a rental car waiting for us.
We're the grand prize winners.
Oink, oink! We'll be pigs!
Oh, the Yanks. Follow me.
Is there anybody to help with the luggage?
Mum!
Kids, help me out. No, please sit.
This is ridiculous.
"Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated,
with private bathroom and shower...
"... color television, radio and telephone.
"Deluxe accommodations at the sumptuous
Royal Imperial Windsor Arms...
"... combines old-world charm
and modem convenience. "
Clark, does this look like
the room in the brochure?
No, I think they shot this picture
from another angle.
It's quaint. I like it.
It'll look better after I've had a hot bath.
Well, the bed is nice and soft.
- There's no bathroom.
- Of course, there's a bathroom.
Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
Maybe they don't.
Call the front desk.
Something's wrong with this thing.
We've only got four channels, and no MTV.
That's all there are.
Just think of it. Shopping on Bond Street.
Bobbies. Fish and chips. Big Ben.
Shopping on Carnaby Street.
It's going to be so romantic.
I have to warn you,
I'm feeling very naughty tonight.
Congratulations.
What can I do for you?
I want a wake-up call for
7 a. m., please. Good night.
You're in bed, already.
I left a wake-up call
to get an early start in the morning.
I love you.
I've been waiting for this.
I can't believe we're alone at last.
Just you and me.
I'm so horny.
And these bubbles...
...make me feel so...
I feel like...
You know.
When did you stop shaving your legs?
Why don't you just jump in here with me?
I think I made a mistake.
Is my wife in here?
No.
I get confused with the numerous doors.
- I guess this happens a lot.
- No.
- Could you unlock your legs from my leg?
- No.
My right leg is asleep.
Oh, no. Please don't.
It's very hot in here.
It's hot, yeah.
I got a mild case of herpes.
I'll just get out.
Let me just check. I've got a wake-up call.
- You won't believe this. I was in the tub.
- I've been looking for our room.
- This guy came in with a toothpaste tube.
- I went into this lady's room.
- I don't know where our room is.
- It's right here.
They don't even put numbers on the doors.
Here's our English transportation.
Now we'll have some fun.
- Where's the wheel?
- Other side, Dad.
You're driving on the wrong side
of the road.
I realize that, honey.
I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
- I'm sorry.
- No trouble, my dear chap.
I've had this bump for ages.
Now I have an excuse to fix it.
I'm fully covered.
I should thank you.
- Very sorry, again.
- No problem.
God, he was nice.
It's not bad in England, huh?
God, I must say,
the English are certainly...
We seem to have run into a bit of trouble.
What rotten luck.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to get back to our hotel.
An American! Delighted to meet you.
Are you enjoying our country?
If I could get the driving straight...
Don't worry about a little thing like this.
I was driving on the
right side of