won't tell
where it is.
But we have an idea...
- I was sent to speak to you.
- I'm listening.
- We propose to put a wig on you.
- Well...
Then we're going to tattoo you...
and throw you in prison.
What do you mean?
What for?
It's a great idea! Your own mother
won't tell which ofyou is which.
- I don't see what you mean.
- Oh, Lord above, bless me!
The trial has been held, two ofthem
got 4 years. It's nothing, a holiday.
The one who I took you for
was given eight years.
The other two are doing their time
in Central Asia.
- This one, near Moscow. Understand?
- No.
Oh, Lord above, bless me!
We'll put you in jail along with
the other two,
and they will take you
for this one.
That way you'll be able to learn from
them where the helmet is.
- Are you willing now?
- No.
- Why not?
- It's madness. What'll I say at home?
Just say you have to attend
a seminar for kindergarten teachers.
No, I can't do it.
I have my work, the children.
I must buy a Christmas tree.
And besides...
it isn't ethical.
Ethical, unethical!
We're the only ones who're being
so scrupulous: bail, rehabilitation.
We should do like the Turks did
in the olden times:
they put the thug
in a vat filled with shit,
and drove him through town.
Over him stood an executioner
with a saber in his hand,
and every five minutes he went
"swish" with his saber over the vat!
lfthe thief doesn't dive,
no more head.
So all day long
he dived in the shit!
That was in Turkey.
It's warm there.
- To run away?
- Crash out, split, fade.
Very good.
- To talk gibberish?
- Slip your trolley.
- What's good?
- Akey-okey.
- What's a barroom?
- A grog mill.
- An easy burglary?
- A hop stop.
- An untrustworthy man?
- A wrong guy.
Pillar ofthe community?
I forgot...
Wait...
Mossback.
Yes, a mossback.
Wig, alright?
- May I try it?
- Go on.
Pull harder. It's a special glue.
He can even wash his head.
That's good.
- Good resemblance?
- Yes, but he's kind, the other's evil.
- Do you like it here?
- Cozy. Which is my bed?
Your sack.
- You've got to take the best spot.
- And where is that?
Yevgeny Ivanovich, don't you remember?
By the window, over there.
But someone's things are there.
Throw them on the floor.
When the owner comes back, you just
tell him to split, fade, get lost.
- Remember?
- Yes, I remember.
That's it. Soon they'll be returning
from work.
And don't forget, try to stress
that you've partly lost your memory.
lfthey start to beat you up,
knock on the door.
All right.
I mean, akey-okey.
Hey you!
Why'd you throw away my things?
You...
Listen, you...
You know...
What should I know?
Come on,
be a good boy, will you?
Hey, it's Docent!
How you doing?
Welcome home!
- And you get lost!
- Right! Fade out!
He'd better get lost, or I'll clobber
him, whap him, gouge his blinkers out!
For the rest ofyour life you'll have
to work to pay for the bandages!
The knucklehead!
The fungus face!
Buzz off, boy,
or I'll bash your face in!
Why didn't you say so in the first
place?
Greetings, pen pals!
Well, I'll be a three-eyed owl!
- How you doing?
- Good old Raspy!
Hi, Docent!
Baby!
Listen, I've got a better spot for
your bunk, next to the slop-bucket!
- Who is he?
- Nicky of St. Pete's.
Listen, for less than that,
a lot less, much less,
I've strangled and torn guys apart!
Don't get sore, pal.
- I'll gouge your blinkers out!
- Help! The guy wants to blind me!
It's nothing serious.
Crosseyes!
- Quiet!
- Huh? What?
- Where'd you ditch the helmet?
- Me?
Yes, you.
- You had the helmet, pal!
- Oh yeah? Then What did I do with it?
- How should I know?
- You're going to be sorry!
- What for?
- I'll hop you one!
Hey, cool it, Docent!
How would he know
where the helmet is?
You dragged the helmet around.
You always kept the helmet in a bag.
When they busted us, it was not there.
You lost it yourself,
and now you try to pin it on me.
When anything goes wrong,