celebration of life!
All right, I'm not gonna do this.
Is this the way you want our baby
to be conceived?
No, you're right.
No, we shouldn't do it like this.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have come down on you
so hard about the smoking.
So you had a few cigarettes.
It's not the end of the world.
-Really?
-Yeah.
You are incredible.
And listen,
I'm not gonna smoke again.
And if I do, I promise
I will hide it so much better from you.
-Want to?
-Let's celebrate life!
Okay!
Oh, God.
Oh, thank God you're okay.
I'm sorry we left.
Mommy will never leave you again.
Never, ever, ever again.
Great. So let's get going.
I mean it. After what just happened,
I'm never leaving her again.
I understand. Separation is hard.
One time I was about to leave Ross
to go to the beauty parlor.
And he got so upset
he took off all his clothes...
...tucked his willy between his legs...
...and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl.
Take me with you."
Somehow, over time,
it got easier to be apart from you.
You are welcome.
-You know what? Let's not talk.
-What?
-I am still so mad at you for smoking!
-But you said you forgave me.
It was just a couple of cigarettes,
no big deal.
I was ovulating and you said you
wouldn't have sex if we were fighting.
-You tricked me to get me into bed?
-That's right. I got mine.
I feel so used.
Well, I guess they're not coming.
You want to just order?
Thank you.
Waiter? All right, this is gonna
go fast, so try to keep up.
Risotto with shaved truffles
and the rib steak...
...with the golden chanterelles
and the Bordelaise sauce...
...unless any of that stuff I just said
means "snails."
-lt does not.
-Tomato tart...
...and which of the pastas
would you recommend?
-Oh, well they're both exquisite--
-Both it is. Thank you.
Oh, can I make a special request?
Can you bring everything
as it's ready?
-Appetizers, entrйes, we don't care.
-Hey!
-I'll wait to put your order in.
-You guys are over an hour late.
-What happened to you two?
-So sorry.
-We got locked out of the apartment.
-That's a great story. Can I eat it?
And then Rachel wasn't sure
she could leave the baby.
It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday
and I did what I had to do.
And that's Judy over there at the bar
with Emma?
This is for the best. I'm not distracted,
worrying about Emma...
...how she's doing at home, and I'm
gonna be completely here with you.
-Oh, she spit up. She spit up.
-What?
Judy? She spit--
Judy, look alive, Judy!
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
Oh, everything looks delicious.
What should I have?
What should I have?
Never hit a woman.
Never hit a woman.
I know what you mean,
this menu's incredible.
Ross bruises like a peach.
He bruises like a peach.
Okay, I'll have the fig salad
and the duck.
I'll have the soup and the salmon.
Remember, whatever comes up first,
okay?
-Hurry--
-Happy birthday!
Son of a bitch!
-Where have you been?
-Well, we had a little fight.
I would never lie
to get someone into bed.
You used to tell girls
you were a Kennedy.
Thanks.
Thanks. Wow.
A little tight, isn't it?
Why didn't you get a bigger table?
You had a big table
but they made you move.
Shut up, Monica.
Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler
will have the smoked duck.
And I suppose that Monica
will have the manipulative shrew.
-I'll give you another minute.
-What, where you going?
He said she wanted the shrew!
Rach, come on, Emma's fine.
You're turning into an obsessive
mother, okay? You need to stop.
You ever hear the story about when
Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?
-You mean the willy story?
-They already know it.
We've been waiting for you
for a long time.
-You should order.
-That's okay.
-I told the waiter what they want.
-Why would you do that?
Chandler, control your woman.
Okay, well....
Everybody has ordered.
I would like to start the celebration
and make a toast to Phoebe.
-She dropped her sock.
-What?
-No. No, Emma dropped her sock.