No. Monica's restaurant got a horrible
review in the Post.
Oh, no!
I didn't want her to see it, so I ran
around and bought all the copies.
This is bad.
And I've had bad reviews.
I remember my first good one:
"Everything else in Our Town
was terrible.
Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Oh, my God!
Look at all the newspapers.
It must be a good review. Is it great?
Oh, dear God.
But the good news is, no one
in a two-block radius will ever know.
- And the rest of Manhattan?
- They all know.
Oh, my God, this is horrible.
I'm so humiliated.
They say there's no such thing
as bad press.
You don't think that "the mahi-mahi
was awful-awful" is bad press?
I didn't write it.
- God, is he right? Am I awful?
- Oh, no!
Monica, listen to me.
I'm not just saying this
because I'm your friend.
Your food is abysmal!
The One with the Cooking Class
- Ross?
- What? What?
- I am freaking out!
- Are you?
My due date is in one week!
- What are you doing up?
- That is seven days.
I had a lot of water.
Can we do this after...?
No, no, no, no, Ross!
We don't have any big stuff we need.
We don't have a changing table
or a crib.
- We do not have a diaper service.
- Funny you should mention diapers.
- I'm serious.
- There's nothing to worry about.
There's a baby store on West 10th.
We'll go there...
...and get everything we need. Okay?
- Okay. Thank you. That's great.
Where on West 10th?
There's a shoe store...
Okay. If you're gonna do this,
then I'm gonna go do that, so...
- Wait, Ross! I'm sorry, one more thing.
- Yeah.
Our situation, you know,
what we mean to each other...
...and, I mean, we're having this baby
together and we live together...
Isn't that...? Isn't that weird?
Well...
I'm just kidding. You can go pee.
Did we say we were gonna meet here
or at the movie?
- We said at the movies, but...
- I'll see you there.
- Now that you're here...?
- I'll hang out till I have to meet you.
- How come you're not going?
- I've got a job interview.
- I thought you already have a job.
- And they say you don't pay attention.
It's a better job.
It's vice president of the company...
...that does data reconfiguration
and for other companies.
- Wow. How do you know how to do that?
- That's what I do now.
- Joey? Come taste this.
- What?
Remember the guy that gave me
a bad review? Well...
I'm getting my revenge.
You cooked him?
No. He teaches a course
at The New School...
I want to make him try
my bouillabaisse again.
I can't wait to read the front
page tomorrow:
"Restaurant reviewer admits:
'I was wrong about Monica.'"
The front page?
You really do live in your own
little world, don't you?
You want these delivered,
Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no.
- We're not married.
- We're having a baby...
...but we're not involved.
I mean, we were seeing
each other a while ago...
...but then we were just friends, and
then there was one drunken night...
Or, yes, stranger,
we'd like this delivered, please.
- Can you fill out this address card?
- Oh, okay.
- You picked out a lot of dinosaurs.
- Yeah.
That's one of the reasons
why we're not a couple.
I chose those. I'm a paleontologist.
Really? That is so cool.
Don't get too worked up. It sounds
like he's a doctor, but he's not.
No. I'm fascinated by paleontology.
- Have you read the Walter Alvarez book?
- I teach it in class.
Standing at a cash register, I'm
holding a credit card, and I'm bored.
I love your neighborhood.
There's a great gym around the corner.
- That's my gym.
- I could tell you work out.
A paleontologist who works out.
You're like Indiana Jones.
I am like Indiana Jones.
Hi, Pheebs.
Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
Great! We got everything we needed.
Oh, and Ross almost got
something that wasn't on the list.
A whore.
What?
We were paying, and this sales
woman just started flirting with him.
Can you believe that?
- Did she know you two weren't married?
- Yeah.
Oh,