actually
drinking quite nicely.
I'm gonna tell him.
I'm gonna be strong.
I just called a friend.
I think I may be able
to book the Plaza on short notice.
Really?
The Plaza?
Oh, Daddy!
- Daddy, I need to talk to you.
- What is it, sweetie?
Ross and I aren't getting married.
- I'm sorry.
- I don't believe this!
- Stay calm, please.
- How do you expect me to stay calm?
This is unacceptable, Rachel.
And I wanna know why!
Is it because that punk
won't marry you?
- Is that it?
- Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.
You nervous about getting married?
What are you doing?
Pretend it's a real bachelor party.
It'll be more fun.
All right. I can't believe
tomorrow's the big day.
You're never gonna be
with another woman.
You have to wake up
to the same face every day...
...until you finally have
the sweet release of death.
You're right. This is more fun.
That's her! Okay, come on!
Which one of you is Chandler?
That's me!
That's me.
Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.
- Is that a bedroom?
- Yeah, right over there.
Whenever you're ready.
That was weird.
- Why would she go in the bedroom?
- I'm waiting.
- So she's a...
- Yeah, that's one naked hooker.
I love your place.
Where is this guy from?
That's an 18th-century artifact
from Calcutta.
Oh. Wow.
So you're more than just dinosaurs.
So much more.
Oh, my God! I am so sorry!
Forget it. It's from Pier 1.
Sorry.
Think you can knock up my daughter
and not marry her?
I ought to kill you!
This is actually not
a great time for me.
So come on.
Explain yourself, Geller.
- You got Rachel pregnant!
- You got her pregnant?
- Who did?
- You did!
Yes, but it was a one-night thing.
It meant nothing.
Oh? Really? My daughter means nothing?
No, sir. She means a lot to me.
I love Rachel.
- What?
- But not that way.
I'm not in love.
I love her like a friend.
So you get her in trouble
and refuse to marry her?
I offered to marry her.
But I didn't want to.
Why not? You wanted to be
with this tramp?
Tramp?
I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona.
Mona, Dr. Green.
I can't believe there is
a naked hooker in there!
Maybe she's a hooker
and a stripper...
...but she got confused
about what to do.
Maybe. Technically, she stripped.
We just missed it.
Ma'am?
Are you also a stripper?
No, but I can pretend to strip.
Costs extra.
Here's the extras:
Handcuffs, spanking...
Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.
Getting her husband a hooker.
That's pretty funny.
That is funny. Maybe for my birthday
she'll murder someone.
I'll bet Ross was in on it.
He was conveniently busy.
- You mind if I smoke in here?
- Actually, I'd rather...
Go ahead. We're gonna have to
burn that room, anyway.
- How could you hide this?
- I wanted to tell you, but...
You'd get what you wanted,
then dump her, like Rachel.
Hey, I did not dump Rachel.
Nor are we still together.
Can I...?
We'll just let the machine get that.
Ross, it's Joey.
There's a hooker here.
We thought you'd
know something about it.
No! No! No!
No!
I need to lie down.
Tonight's the bachelor party?
- Thanks for that number.
- No problem. Who's the party for?
- My husband.
- You hired your husband a hooker?
- She's a stripper.
- No, a hooker.
- Is that a name for strippers?
- If they're hookers.
Stu, I can't believe you did this.
You're sure she's a hooker?
Either that, or she's the best,
most expensive date I ever had.
- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
- Why would she do that?
Maybe she wants you
to learn something.
Is there anything
you're really bad at, sexually?
This is the worst
bachelor party ever.
- What's taking you boys so long?
- In a minute!
What's gonna happen in a minute?
You should ask her to leave.
- Why me?
- It's your party.
- Which is why you should do it.
- No, you do it.
Rock, paper, scissors
for who tells the whore to leave.
- What?
- I miss this.
I don't think we've
done this before.
No, I miss hanging out with you.
- We still hang out.