at these floors!
You did the windows!
I have been begging for months!
- And nagging works!
- No, I didn't actually do this.
Oh, no. Was I cleaning
in my sleep again?
No, it wasn't you.
- Well, then, who?
- I got a maid. Yay!
I hope you mean "mistress," because
if some other woman was cleaning...
I know you don't like
to relinquish control.
"Relinquish" is just a fancy word
for "lose."
She's nice, and she mentioned that she
adored how you arranged the sponges.
Did she really say that?
Yes, I distinctly remember.
I thought it was a joke.
- Now, just give her a chance, okay?
- Fine, I can do it.
- What's the matter?
- Usually when I'm anxious, I clean.
The One With the Stain
Whose cell phone is that?
It's so annoying.
I think it's coming from your bag.
I never get calls!
Hello?
Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween
party. Ursula's fiancй.
Oh, my God, Eric, hi!
How'd you get this number?
I have a friend who's a cop,
and he got it.
Wow. What an incredible violation
and wonderful surprise!
You should know
I broke up with Ursula.
Oh, you did?
He did it, he did it!
- What did he do?
- Shh! I'm talking!
Anyway, I was wondering if you were
the sort of person who eats lunch?
Are you asking me out?
Because it'd be weird since you
just broke up with my sister.
Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. Bye.
Wait! I said that so you'd think
I was a good person!
Fight for me!
I won't take "no" for an answer.
Not great, we can work on it.
I can be at your apartment
in two hours.
How do you know where I live?
I've got friends too.
Okay, bye.
Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!
This day is gonna be much better
than I thought it was gonna be.
Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.
So apparently I'm available
for lunch.
I can't. I'm apartment hunting.
You're moving?
I can't live with Joey
once the baby comes.
I don't want my child's first words
to be, "How you doin'?"
Does Joey know you're moving?
We haven't discussed it,
but he'll be relieved.
He brought this girl over,
and I talked about morning sickness.
I showed her my pregnancy book.
- That's not really porn?
- Not so much.
I heard in the elevator this morning
that a woman in my building died.
Oh, my God. Was she old?
Does she have a view?
How great would that be?
You living in my building?
I could take care of the baby,
come over whenever I want...
...with your permission.
That really would be great.
Well, can we see it?
Maybe we shouldn't.
If she just died this morning.
Yeah. No. No, you're right.
- Shall we?
- Yeah.
Yes?
Hi. I'm Ross Geller.
I live in the building.
And I'm Rachel,
an admirer of the building.
I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing
away, and I am so sorry for your loss.
- She didn't pass away.
- What?
- My mother's still alive.
- Oh, thank God!
It looked like we were gonna lose her
this morning, but she's tough.
Are you close with her?
Of course. She and I would
talk all the time...
...in the laundry room.
You speak Dutch?
I would, but it's just too painful.
So she's really not dead.
No. She's hanging in there.
Could you tell me, is she hanging in
in a one-bedroom or a two?
This tile cleaner is incredible.
Where did you get it?
Oh, well...
I make it myself.
It's two parts ammonia and one part
lemon juice. The secret ingredient...
You know what? We just met.
Okay. I'm gonna get the clothes
from the laundry room...
...then I'll clean behind the fridge.
I love her!
I'll be back in a minute.
Okay.
- See? I told you.
- She stole my jeans!
What?
I've been looking
for them all week!
So she stole your pants,
and then came back and wore them?
Don't you see?
It's the perfect crime!
She must have been
planning this for years!
I'll prove it.
I dropped a pen in my lap, and it left
an ink stain on the crotch.
When she comes back, I will find it
and show you that stain!
Is it possible the company that sold
the jeans made more than one pair?
I guess.
Shouldn't we give her