007 has a fancy car.
- Batman has the Batmobile.
- 007 gets all the ladies.
- Batman has Robin.
We get ESPN, right?
How about you go put on your 007
tuxedo, and I'll make you a martini?
I don't like martinis.
- A Yoo-Hoo with a funny straw?
- Yum.
I know the invitation says 6 p.m.
But does that mean get there at 6,
or the show starts at 6?
The show?
Right, the wedding. Gotcha.
But weddings start
a little late, right?
Have you ever
been to one of my weddings?
Well, it's the same day
as my niece's christening...
...and I want my parents to see me.
My part's in the beginning. I'm not
in the rest of the show... Wedding.
The wedding starts at 6.
Okay. I totally hear you.
How about this?
I vamp till they get there.
You'll "vamp"?
Like warm up the crowd.
Ask where they're from.
In Joey Tribbianni, you get
a minister and an entertainer.
I'm a "ministainer."
There's no one better.
There's no one greater.
How can you not remember us kissing?
I don't know. I don't remember
a lot of things that never happened.
Remember, we were on the sleeping
porch? We couldn't stop giggling.
Our coconuts kept knocking together.
Somewhere Joey's head is exploding.
I don't want
to make you uncomfortable...
...but I told Phoebe it happened,
and she doesn't believe me.
I'm sorry. I mean, if I thought
it happened, I would say it.
Maybe I passed out and you did stuff
to me while I was sleeping.
It's okay, you don't have to do this.
I believe you.
If you say you kissed Melissa,
then you kissed Melissa.
- Thank you, Phoebe.
- Okay.
- But she didn't.
- I know.
You carry that around?
I find it to be something
of a conversation piece.
- Between you and...?
- Gunther.
Why don't we put them on?
Get a picture of Batman
and James Bond, together.
I would, but my pants
are a little tight.
A little tight?
I could see 00 and 7 in those things.
I was looking forward to wearing
our celebrity tuxes together.
- So you're not gonna be wearing yours?
- Are you kidding? It's Batman's tux!
Let me try it on.
Okay. But just the jacket.
00 and 7 are not getting in there.
Holy double-vented comfort, Batman!
What's this?
An invitation to
the At First Sight premiere?
Val Kilmer didn't
wear this in Batman. 
He wore it to the premiere of a fruity
love story where he was a blind guy.
Let me see that.
Oh, man.
The only super power you have is the
slightly heightened sense of smell.
Can I talk to you guys for a second?
I give up.
Whatever you want, you can have it.
You want to sing a song or do a dance?
You want your mom at the altar
screaming racial slurs? I don't care.
I just want to thank you guys
for what you did for my parents.
They're so happy
to be a part of your special day.
Tell them we're glad they're coming.
I will. Oh, check out what they got
me to wear for the ceremony!
I wear it like this when I
marry you guys. And then this...
...is for party time.
It happened.
I am telling you it happened.
It was great meeting you.
And, Rachel? I don't think
I'll be calling you because...
...you know, you've gotten weird.
Take care, you guys.
Wait a minute. Okay, look.
That night was the one wild thing
I've ever done in my life.
I won't let you take it away.
So if you don't remember that,
maybe you'll remember this... .
Oh, my God. You love me.
What?
Of course I remember.
I think about it all the time.
I can still hear
the coconuts knocking together... .
I didn't want to tell you, because I
didn't think you'd return my love... .
Look who's being suddenly shy.
You have to feel what I feel.
Nobody can kiss that good
and not mean it.
I'm just a good kisser.
Shut up.
I'm sorry.
You don't have to be sorry.
I'm obviously kidding.
I'm not in love with you.
I'm not in love with her.
I don't hear coconuts
banging together.
I don't picture your face
when I make love to my boyfriend.
Anyway, I gotta go.
A kiss goodbye?
No? Okay.
I mean, I had no