director that
everything in the movie's authentic.
In your love scene with Sarah...
...she talks about how she's never
seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish.
So... .
So... what?
So, the director is insisting
that whoever play that part...
...be authentically, anatomically...
...not Jewish.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes!
No. What?
An Italian Catholic immigrant
at this time would not be... .
Bar mitzvah-ed?
- To get this part, you can't be...
- No.
But you are?
- You told them you weren't?
- That's right.
Wow!
It's definitely all gone?
There's nothing there to work with?
- What were you thinking?
- I don't know. I just want this part.
They say no matter what you're asked
during an audition, say yes.
They want you to ride a horse,
say you can.
You figure out how to do it later.
This is not like learning to ride
a horse. This is like learning to...
...grow a turtleneck.
I know, okay? Tomorrow,
when I go meet the director...
...I have to take my clothes off so
they can see what my body looks like.
Oh, my God. What are you gonna do?
I have to call my agent and
tell her I can't do the part.
Unless... .
Unless what?
This may sound crazy, but there may
be something we could...
...fashion.
- Like what?
- Well, I'm not sure yet.
Off the top of my head,
I'm thinking...
...double-sided tape
and some sort of luncheon meat.
I've got a great idea for party
favors for the shower.
We get mahogany boxes and
carve everyone's names in them.
Then inside is each person's
individual birthstone.
Okay. Okay.
You take care of that.
Meanwhile, the party's tomorrow
and we don't have a guest list.
Okay. Who do we know that's coming?
Me. Are you?
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?
I'm making something for Joey.
Can I raid your fridge?
Have at it.
All right. Turkey? That won't work.
Cheese? That won't work.
Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.
Are you making him a sandwich?
No, it's more like a wrap.
Okay, so I'm gonna go, guys.
So you can get back to deciding on
what to get me for a present!
We have to get her a present?
Okay, but look. Look at what I got.
It's her address book.
We have a guest list.
You're amazing. Did you pull
that out of her purse?
Uh-huh. And a little seed money
for the party.
Cassie?
Hey, Ross!
It's been so long!
Last time I saw you...
...you were setting up your tent
in line for Return of the Jedi. 
So you did see me that day.
Because it seemed like you didn't.
- Yeah, sorry about that.
- It's okay. Come on in.
Thanks for letting me stay here.
Monica's place was nice.
But her fiancй sure stares a lot.
Oh, my God! You do a great Chandler!
I have a knack for impressions.
Maybe after we get re-acquainted
you could do me.
Yeah. No!
How you doing on that...
...hot dog?
- I'm all done.
- Thank God.
The last time we hung out was when
our parents rented that beach house.
Remember the time I pinned you down
and tickled you until you cried?
We're probably too old to do that now.
I'll always remember that summer.
It's when I got all these freckles.
I'll always remember that summer...
...because that's when I realized
that we are related.
It took you that long
to figure it out?
I'm a little slow.
Just as our children would be.
- Hi.
- Hi.
How are you? Good. Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Thank you. So nice to see you.
- No, thanks.
- Okay. Hey, Rach?
- Yeah?
- Who the hell are all these people?
I don't know.
I called everybody in her book.
These are the ones that could
show up on 24 hours' notice.
There's a word for people like that:
Losers.
Hi, I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe.
I'm the maid of honor.
- How do you know Monica?
- I was her accountant four years ago.
I'm interested to find out who's been
doing her taxes the last four years.
That's great.
- When is Monica supposed to get here?
- I don't know.
Excuse us.
- You didn't tell her?
- You were supposed to.
You were supposed to tell her to come!
I was bringing the