Don't worry. I have two boys. I've been uncloggin' toilets for 17 years.
You don't have kids that old.
So, what? Did you give birth at 13?
23.
I want the number of your surgeon.
Oh, he hasn't touched my face... yet. I just had a little lipo.
See? It's all a matter of diet--vegetables, 8 glasses of water a day.
I put semen on my face every night before I go to bed.
And I was worried about saying "shit."
Before the divorce, my husband used to like to...
spray his seed all over my face.
Didn't do a thing for me sexually,
but I did notice how much better my skin looked afterwards.
Well, I checked, and it turns out that sperm is chock full of all these wonderful things--
amino acids, proteins, vitamin C.
What do you do about supply now that your husband's not around?
Oh, that's not a problem. I get all I need from my sons.
Your sons? You put your sons' semen on your face?
Well, it's not like I stand over them and watch.
I give them these little amber bottles, they fill them up, and put them on my night table.
Well, it's the least they can do. It's not like I'm asking them to unload the dishwasher.
No one here could accuse me of being a prude, right?
No one anywhere.
But taking your sons' spooge and putting it on your face?
Well, scientifically speaking, Mrs. Carr is simply using an all-natural, fresh-cell,
hormone-rich substance uncontaminated by cancer-causing preservatives.
It sounds like you're making a sales pitch.
You're not makin' a sales pitch... are you?
No! No, of course not. It's totally disgusting.
I'm just saying that, from a business perspective,
it's effective, it's healthy, it's cheap to produce.
Sperm banks throw away tons of unused donations,
and semen's an anti-depressant. It has mood-altering hormones in it.
I read about it.
Didn't do a thing for me.
That's unbelievable.
My entire life I thought there was a psychological reason why I'm a sex addict.
Turns out I was just jonesing for jizz.
We are so sitting on a gold mine here.
We are not going to bottle semen.
Look, we need a signature product,
something that makes us distinctive, gets people to notice us.
I mean, if we can't make a name for ourselves, they're gonna foreclose this place, ok?
And then Sean and Chritian will say they knew all along that we'd screw it up--
that I would screw it up because I don't have what it takes to be a success,
and I can't let them be right about that.
Neither can you.
Dr. Troy. Thank you for coming.
I was thrilled when you called and agreed to see me again.
I just thought by coming here, you'd see I'm not some, uh, crazy homeless man.
I know it's a bizarre request.
"The american architecture award."
That's impressive.
I got it for an atrium house I designed in, uh, 2001.
I utilized the power of negative space, the beauty of what's missing.
That was the last thing I designed.
So... what does this have to do with your cutting off your leg?
My obsession has gotten so bad lately, it's all I can think of.
Nothing else matters.
Depression has a dulling effect.
When you implied that you still might do it--
Might.
I took an oath as a physician.
First do no harm.
The "hypocritical" oath.
The medical profession's unwillingness to help me
and others like me stop the pain is what's really harmful.
That's why I wanted to show you my contingency plan.
Auto-amputation, doctor.
My first attempt at furniture design.
I fill the chest with dry ice. At minus 78 1/2 degrees centigrade,
it's cold enough to freeze one's leg off-- quite literally.
In a few hours, I'll be numb and my leg will feel like a block of wood.
A member of my support group, a former nurse, has agreed to assist me.
As plasma starts leaking through the capillary walls,
the skin and tissues begin to freeze.
Necrosis sets in at last.
Once the skin is cut, my leg will separate from my body as easily as a boiled chicken leg.
Once it's gone, I'll finally feel whole.
What about the risks?
Sepsis, gangrene,