’re going to bite so well here
that you’ll forget about everything.
Help!
Help me!
SOS!
Lyolik!
Idiot!
Mama! I’m going to die!
Lyolik!
Help!
Mama!
- Why are you yelling like that?
- Don’t interfere, boy!
Let’s pray to our Lord...
Get out of my way, milksop!
Get out of here!
There go ducks flying...
As well as two geese...
The chief’s giving us a big chance
to make it up to him.
The place for this new operation
under the code name ‘ wild duck’...
will be a restaurant called
‘The Weeping Willow Tree’.
Straight north of the building,
about a hundred yards off,
there’re toilettes of a john kind...
which are designated on the map
by the letters ‘M’ and ‘W’.
The path leading to the toilettes
goes by a spruce tree,
where I will be.
That’ll be our stationing.
Your mission is to invite the customer
to the restaurant for dinner,
then bring him to the right condition
until he wants... to wash up.
After you show him the way,
you immediately regain
your original position.
You’ve got an alibi
no one will challenge,
while our customer, passing by the
spruce tree, gets into my hands.
Everything that follows is just
a matter of expertise.
But how am I going to bring him to
the right condition? He doesn’t drink.
To quote our chief,
‘When there’s a sucker who pays
you’ll see teetotalers drink,
including those who have ulcers.’
With just a salary to live on,
you can’t take taxis!
Give me a hundred tickets.
If you buy them, just imagine,
you can win...
A fire engine!
Stop your advertising. I’m not buying
tickets to win.
Peddle these tickets
to our tenants.
If they won’t buy,
I’ll cut off their gas.
Is everything perfectly clear?
Hang around all the markets,
and the free exchange stores.
Be seen in the restaurants.
Let people see you as much as you can.
Here, for your expenses.
No, no, I wouldn’t think of it!
Please, no initiative.
Take it, it’s five hundred rubles.
In the new denomination?
- Something wrong with your head?
- I hid the cash.
- Come on, Semyon Semyonovich...
- I got it.
And take this.
What’s that for?
You can never tell.
I haven’t had it in my hands
since the war.
It’s not a real gun,
it’s rather psychological.
You can use it to scare someone.
We loaded it with blanks.
Can’t I have a real one?
You can never tell.
- No, you’d better not.
- I see.
Semyon Semyonovich,
what’s the matter with you?
That’s how it should be.
The Weeping Willow Tree Restaurant
Fedya, we’d like to have also...
a wild duck.
No problem.
- What are we going to drink?
- Beer for me, huh?
A bottle of vodka and a bottle of
cognac. And two bottles of beer.
Oh, I forgot to call my mother.
One second...
Good evening!
I told Fedya to bring a wild duck.
I hope you have some?
Lyolik, I’m waiting.
Soon our customer will be ripe.
I saw the chief. He’s here.
- Is this one taken?
- Yes, sorry.
That’s it. Here we go again.
Keep calm.
And don’t sit there. Act.
Excuse me, where’s the telephone?
Thanks.
This is Semyon Semyonovich Gorbunkov.
Please send a taxi to the Weeping
Willow Restaurant.
It’s urgent.
Well, shall we start?
No, no, I’ve got my beer.
He’s watching me.
Let him see that I’m drinking.
- Here’s to your bonus.
- And may it not be the last one.
After the first drink, one never eats.
Let’s drink some vodka to your health!
All right.
Have a chaser.
I’ll bet that if anyone of you
had found a treasure,
you would have done exactly
like I did.
What are you going to do
with your reward?
For the money that the state
has to pay me by law...
on my friends’ advice,
I’m going to buy a Moskvitch car.
The very latest model!
One second.
The customer is nearly ripe.
You better get ready!
I’m always ready!
You idiot!
- What do you want?
- To see you, pal.
- Don’t you recognize me?
- I don’t think so.
- Let’s have a drink.
- Why not?
I didn’t recognize you right away
either.
Why did you shave your mustache?
I said, why did you