Rummy, blackjack, war, go fish.
- I'll play you for that blender.
- I don't need one.
Or how about a nice electric toothbrush?
One game for this electric toothbrush.
No, thanks. Bye.
Uh, hi.
- Never saw her before. You?
- Nope. She's not local.
Dresses kind of funny. Big-city, I think.
That's Freddy's niece, isn't it?
She'll come around.
- See you later.
- Talk to her, huh?
- This town is going to the dogs.
- Getting too uptown for my likings.
That's the Carter family.
They're just plain weird.
(car horn)
***
- Get in. It's an emergency.
- Where are we going?
Pete called. The fish are biting. Come on.
Rides like butter, huh?
(Sara) Don't people mind you
borrowing their cars?
I like to think of it as more of a test drive.
(country and western song on radio)
All right, kids, we're here.
Everybody out.
- Watch your step.
- For what?
- Rattlesnakes and mine shafts.
- And ghosts.
Right!
Everybody knows
these woods are haunted.
Come on. Nobody believes in ghosts.
Everybody knows there's ghosts out here.
At night you can hear them whistling.
(howls like ghost)
Uncle Freddy, I think I'm going to puke.
It's just chicken liver.
Look, it appeals to Beethoven.
Everything appeals to Beethoven.
Even toilet water.
- I got a bite.
- All right! Reel it in.
- Is that a fish?
- Whoa!
- I think I got a big one.
- (Freddy) Easy does it.
(Sara) You got it, Garrett. Don't let it go.
All right! We got dinner tonight.
Look at that baby.
- Hey, get it away from me!
- Is that a dandy or what?
There's no way I'm eating that.
- Whoa!
- (Sara) Eww!
- A genuine Gronias nigrilabrus.
- Translation: catfish.
I told you he was
the smartest kid in Quicksilver.
(screams)
Uncle Freddy, what is it?
Hey, it's Owen.
Kids, always give a frogman a hand.
How's the weather down there?
It's wet. Too wet.
God. I never would have guessed.
- Is everyone in this town crazy?
- (both) Not us.
Beethoven? Come back, boy.
- He's probably off chasing a rabbit.
- Or maybe he's chasing a ghost.
Yeah. I'll believe it when I see it.
My grandfather saw the ghosts himself
when he was a kid.
He and his buddies were camping
by the lake when they came right at them.
They left so fast they forgot the tent.
And when they came back later...
it was all shredded up.
Stop it, Garrett.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Sometimes spirits get trapped in this
world and can't find their way out.
And scientists,
with all their gobbledegook,
they just can't figure it out either.
(leaves rustling)
- (Sara) What was that?
- (Freddy) It's Beethoven.
- Come here. Here, boy.
- What's he got?
(Freddy) Hey! You got to love that dog.
Goes into the woods and comes back with
money. Any more where that came from?
- Can I keep it?
- I don't see why not. It looks old.
- Go get us all some money, Beethoven.
- Yeah.
- Buckets of it. Right?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
(toilet flushes)
- (banging and whirring)
- (puzzled growl)
(knock on door)
I forgot to mention.
The bathroom's upstairs.
Yeah. We heard.
Well, good night.
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
- Uh, Uncle Freddy?
- Yeah?
You don't really have bedbugs, do you?
Nah. Not any more.
Beethoven, this is
going to be a long month.
So I decided at that point
to give up on a career with the NBA
and then I stopped eating for height
and started eating for pure girth.
Give me the seven-eighths, would you?
Thanks.
I think I'm going to save a lot of money
on lubrication with you around here.
(tyres screech)
Three, two, one...
(siren)
Right on cue. That, Beethoven, is the
number-one moneymaker in this town.
The speed trap on Quicksilver Drive.
Out-of-towners think they can just
blast through here at any speed.
And then they meet the sheriff.
(Western-style music)
Nine times out of ten
some yokel's at the wheel
who