I'm just kidding, guys.
You're great at yourjob.
Too bad it isn't music.
"Ad infinitum for cassettes...
videotapes, bubble chips...
and all other methods
of recordings known or unknown."
Sign here.
Here, here.
Use my back, victim.
Don't forget to send me a copy.
The love of my life,
my number one fan...
Mrs. McArdle!
- How you doin'?
- Just fine.
I want a big kiss, now,
but remember, no tongues.
- Bless you.
- Sit down, little darling.
We have one hell
of a show for you tonight.
Phil, please, if you will...
introduce tonight's
guest runner...
and watch that screen.
Our star runner tonight
needs no introduction.
He's Ben Richards...
the brutal slayer of 60 men,
women and children...
in the Bakersfield Massacre.
Food riot in progress.
Approximately 1,500 civilians.
Moving in.
Yankee Nine-niner,
the crowd is unarmed.
Repeat, unarmed.
Abort attack.
- Acknowledge, Yankee Nine-niner.
- The hell with you.
Lt. Sanders, take command.
Detain Richards and return to base.
Acknowledge, Yankee Nine-niner.
Acknowledge.! Return to base.!
Those are innocent, unarmed people
down there.! Cease fire.! Cease fire.!
Well, we all know
the aftermath...
grieving parents...
orphaned children...
and a nation shocked to its very core.
Here he is...
ready to pay the price
for our home audience...
in person...
the Butcher of Bakersfield!
Now, Ben Richards
could have gone to prison...
but instead, he volunteered
for The Running Man.
- Risking everything for a chance...
- Excuse me.
At our fabulous prizes, like a trial
byjury, suspended sentence...
maybe even a full pardon...
like our previous winners
Whitman, Price and Haddad.!
You remember them.
Whitman, Price and Haddad.!
There they are.!
And at this very moment...
they're basking under the Maui sun...
their debt to society...
paid in full.
Speaking of prizes, you don't have to be
a menace to society to be a winner...
'cause you folks in the audience
will get a chance too.
Phil, tell our friends
what they can win today.
Damon, how about a year's supply
of Orthopure Procreation Pills...
adult and kiddie sizes, and the latest
edition ofThe Running Man home game.
Ben, I know you're dying to
get into that game zone...
and show us the same determination
you showed up in Bakersfield.
Well, first, I've got
a little surprise for you.
We all know
you're a big, tough guy, Ben...
but that doesn't mean
you're a loner.
And it takes a big man to admit
that he needs his friends.
We didn't want to break up
a winning team...
so here they are,
ready to go for broke...
right by your side.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ben's buddies...
Harold Weiss and William Laughlin.
Son of a bitch!
You know how this works.
The game zone is divided
into 400 square blocks...
left over from the big quake of'97.
I don't think any of us
will ever forget that.
Once inside the zone,
the runners have three hours.
They've got to go
through all four game quads.
Three hours or less,
and they're gonna need every second.
- 'Cause you know who's on their tail?
- The stalkers!
- Who?
- The stalkers!
And you know what happens then!
Anything goes!
- What?
- Anything goes!
Right!
Without further ado...
it's time to start running!
On your marks, get set...
Killian.
I'll be back.
Only in a rerun.
Go!
- Go!
- You son of a bitch!
Go!
Yes!
All systems go.
Vacuum sleds passing checkpoint one.
"Edited for television."
"Raw footage."
Edith Wiggins, come on down.!
Whoa, whoa, Edith.
You look like you might have done
a little stalking yourself.
All right. Now, we need you
to give me the name...
of the stalker that we send out to hunt
down those three desperate criminals.
Give me