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Автора! Автора!

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of these girls...
...among others,
who is also my wife...
...has legal custody over these girls.
I won't give them to that man there...
...who does not have legal custody.
And that is why we're all
huddled up here on the roof...
...as though we were acting
in a Fellini film.
GLASS: What's he talking about?
- Mafia connections?
Come on, Ivan.
- I hope what he's saying isn't...
- Don't be ridiculous.
Who's got legal custody of the girls,
Mr. Slessinger? You or the missus?
Lt's a little complicated.
This is just a formality, Mr. Travalian. It
covers you just as much as it covers us.
I'm sure it does.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Iggy.
- Got it.
See, we weren't accusing. We were just
doing our jobs. I'm sure this house...
...is just as normal as my own.
That is a very complicated idea,
Officer Glass, very complicated.
- I'm kind of embarrassed about this, lv.
- Oh, Rog. Come on.
No ex-husband of Gloria's ever
has to apologize to me for anything.
We are like a little club.
My friend Arnold asked if he
could stay tonight. I said okay.
Hello, Mr. Travalian.
Hello, Arnold.
How's the game leg, kid?
Oh, great. Hello, Mr. Slessinger.
How's Greenwich?
- Fine. How you doing? Say, lv.
- Now, listen, Roger.
- Iv, isn't...
- Stop calling me "lv."
I hate nicknames.
That's Arnold, Roger. Arnold.
- Arnold.
- Okay.
I don't wanna rush you guys,
but I got an act to rewrite.
- Fine.
- You got your man, your kids, whatever.
We should be going.
Will you show these gentlemen to the
door, Roger? I am losing my mind.
Don't take in any more stray kids,
Mr. Travalian.
All right, l'll just have the girls
say their goodbyes, okay?
Debbie, Bonnie. Daddy's going back
to Greenwich. Say your goodbyes.
Spike.
- Spike, your father know you're here?
- Yeah, he drove me to the plane and all.
- He did?
- Is it okay if I move back in with you?
- Yeah, of course. Didn't work out, kid?
- No. It's a long story.
You're thinner, kid.
That's good.
[PHONE RINGS]
Who is it? Lggy, the door.
IGOR: Lt's not the door. The phone.
- Not the phone, it's the door.
Here, here. Go ahead.
Geraldo.
- I didn't do nothing.
- The phone's for you, Geraldo.
- The phone's for you.
TRAVALIAN: I just can't stand this. Here.
GERALDO:
Hello?
Hello! Oh, hi.
Okay? I threw my grandmother's
chair on the floor.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
- You're a little hysterical.
- How can the phone be ringing?
IGOR:
Lt's the door.
DEBBIE: Lt's Mr. Finestein and
Mr. Kreplich. They seem a little upset.
KREPLICH: Lt's not a question...
FINESTEIN: I have...
Morris, Arnold. Please.
I got cops and Roger here.
I'm about to go down in history as the
producer of the biggest disaster...
...since the Titanic and you're playing
cops and robbers.
Excuse me, he said cops and Roger.
Me. I'm Roger.
- Slessinger. Ivan's wife's ex-husband.
- What?
TRAVALIAN: Here. Thank you.
- Ivan.
I've got the second act problem licked.
I can't think now.
You can't think now?
Maybe these pages will help you.
- Arnold, please. Arnold, please.
- No, no, no. I want him to hear it.
I am not Fritz, Edith.
And I am not German.
I am Larry Kotzwinkle,
accountant and lover extraordinaire.
An entire production is waiting
for the goddamn rewrites...
...and you hand me Kotzwinkle
and your goddamn wife!
- You're screaming.
- That's screaming?
That is not screaming.
This is screaming!
Arnold. Arnold, take it easy.
Relax. Relax.
- Ivan, let me just bounce this off you.
- Okay, bounce, bounce.
- It's very simple.
- Okay.
Instead of her getting in the sack
and speaking English, Ted!
Ted climbs in with the German
and he speaks like a teacher.
- That can't work.
- What do you mean?
Ted speaks German to the German.
It won't work.
No. But if Ted gets in the sack
instead of Edith...
It vitiates the whole reason...
You didn't hear the last part.
I'll bounce it off you.
- Let him bounce.
- I can't concentrate.
Let me bounce it off you.
Look at
Автора! Автора! Автора! Автора!

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