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Артур

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Good afternoon.
Good afternoon?
My name is Linda.
I'd like to thank you very much.
You did a nice thing.
That was an interesting kiss.
-You kiss your wife like that?
-I'm not married.
Keep smiling. 688-5549.
Don't expect big things
on the first date.
Yes, it's been a distinct
pleasure meeting you.
Arthur, we really must be going.
Thank you for
a memorable afternoon.
Usually one must go to a bowling alley
to meet a woman of your stature.
Wouldn't it be funny
if he called me?
Arthur, I see no reason
for prolonging this conversation.
Unless you're planning. . .
. . .to knock over a fruit stand
later in the evening.
Good luck in prison.
Who was the tie for?
A guy.
Look how he stopped smiling.
My father. It's his birthday.
What are you doing tomorrow night?
I don't know.
I have plans for tomorrow night.
What should I wear?
Steal something casual.
-I like him.
-Likewise, I'm sure.
I'll have Bitterman
drive you home.
You don't have to do that.
Bitterman doesn't
have to take me.
I really hardly ever
take the bus, ever.
-But it's so hard to get a cab.
-Of course.
I'm sure we know a lot
of the same people.
-Get in.
-Right.
Tell Bitterman where to take you.
And make sure. . .
. . .you give him your address
and phone number.
Take care of her, Bitterman.
Good afternoon!
You'd think they'd never
seen a car before.
Hey lady, where
did you get the car?
Could you children please
allow us our privacy?
Could I sit here until
one of my neighbors walks by?
I want someone I know
to see me get out of this.
I understand.
Here comes Mrs. Nesbit.
This should kill her.
Don't touch the door.
I'll do it.
Mrs. Nesbit deserves
the entire treatment.
Thank you, Bitterman.
Well, hello, Mrs. Nesbit!
Will that be all, madam?
I think so.
Have a nice evening, Mrs. Nesbit.
-Could be a big tie.
-It is a tie.
Then guessing would be
out of the question.
-It is a tie!
-Surprise!
I love it!
It goes with everything I own.
I hope you like it.
If I don't get a job soon, you may
get it back on your birthday.
Dad, shut up.
A funny thing happened
to me today.
Do you know why. . .
. . .girls marry so badly?
Is this a joke?
Are these Polish girls?
The reason is, there
are so many girls. . .
. . .and so few princes.
You met a prince?
I met a nice guy. With my help,
he could become a prince.
-Who is he?
-Just a guy.
What does he do?
Nothing.
Another beauty.
How does he make a living?
Look, I have to make dinner.
I take it this bum
will be calling you.
Dad, he's a millionaire.
You have my permission
to marry him.
Roses. Yellow.
She'll drop dead. She'll love them.
Yellow roses. Two dozen.
I think something else
would look nice too.
Red roses. With the yellow.
She won't know what hit her!
You'll be aces with her.
You're a nice boy.
Two dozen red, okay?
-Do you know what happened?
-No, I don't.
Yesterday I met her
outside Bergdorf's.
I can't stop
thinking about her!
Are you married?
Once. She's alive.
-What's that?
-A yucca plant.
-I'll take it.
-How many?
Four.
Where were you
when I was selling cars?
How did you know
when you fell in love?
How does anybody know?
I was on a train.
From Washington to New York.
What's that?
-A fern. You need five.
-Right!
A girl got on the train.
Skinny. She gave me a smile.
By Baltimore, I was a dead duck.
Did you whistle a lot?
I find I whistle!
I whistled.
Did you feel funny?
I feel funny.
You may have a cold.
Send all this and anything else
you can think of to this address.
Send 2 dozen roses
to your wife.
The skinny one on the train.
Here, keep the change.
You're the rich one?
The one who drinks?
How does it feel
to have all that money?
It feels great.
A dumb question.
What do you do?
I've never asked.
I'm an actress.
I mean, I'm studying to be one.
But I'm working as a waitress.
A lot of talented girls do that.
What's it like being a waitress?
It's fun. I mean, you know.
This
Артур Артур

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