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Артур 2

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And we could hire them.
Arthur, wait a minute.
I need you serious for a minute, honey.
Look, I know having a kid
doesn't mean much to you right now...
but it's all I've ever thought about
for the last three years.
Arthur, every time I pass a playground,
I just die.
Then we adopt.
-What?
-Yeah.
-Just like that?
-Yeah.
Don't you want
to think about it a little bit?
No, set up the appointment.
I mean, any kid would be lucky
to have you as a mother.
Arthur, thank you.
Honey.
There we are.
Blimey, you can stop it.
Thank you, I love you.
I am so excited...
and I love you so much.
I love you so much, it hurts.
That's because you're leaning on my fork.
I know, take it away immediately.
Arthur, you know
what I'm going to do tomorrow morning?
Here, look what I found
in this new novelty store...
I found in Times Square.
What? These I don't need.
I could always see right through you.
I'm gonna.... What is that?
Phony throw-up. We'll get a free meal here
if it's the last thing we do.
-Arthur.
-Now wait a minute, I have plans for that.
What? Trick soap? No. Fairchild?
Arthur, haven't you tortured
that poor man enough?
No, definitely not.
-Andre!
-Andre.
This your idea of a joke?
Don't touch the Barfellini Bolognese. It's....
Good morning, sir.
-Good morning, Fairchild.
-Good morning, Mr. Bach.
-Good morning, Ted.
-Here is your tea, sir...
your fresh orange juice,
your dish of aspirin...
and of course, your newspaper.
Fairchild, what happened to your hands?
The soap in my bathroom, sir.
The soap in your bathroom, Fairchild?
Yes, it seems to be malfunctioning.
Fairchild, it's a joke.
Soap doesn't malfunction.
-It's trick soap.
-I see. Thank you, sir.
You're welcome, Fairchild.
Shall I throw the soap out...
or will you be tricking me again
with it later?
Blimey! Questions this early
in the morning.
Trick soap out or in?
-Forget it, Fairchild.
-Yes, sir.
-Where's Mrs. Bach? Is she....
-Madam awoke early.
She had some phone calls to make.
In that case,
put on one of her nightgowns...
and come in here, would you?
Sir?
Come on, Fairchild.
I know you want it.
I've seen the way you look at me.
Fairchild! I'm kidding.
God, it's the truth.
Don't they ever kid each other
on your planet?
-On my planet, sir?
-Yeah.
I mean, don't I drive you nuts?
Don't you want to pick up
one of these chairs here...
and whack me over the head with it?
-Whack you, sir? I could never.
-I give you permission.
Listen, I used to have a butler
who would take my hat off all the time...
and hit me over the head with it
and call me a little shit!
We must have gone
to different butlering schools, sir.
Yeah, maybe. He was
more than a butler, actually.
He was my friend, you know?
He was more than that, really.
Yes, Hobson. I've heard you two
were very close.
Yeah, we were.
And you know what, Fairchild?
You remind me of him
in absolutely no way whatsoever.
Loosen up, Fairchild, I give you
permission to enjoy your life.
Thank you, sir. I shall try.
You're very welcome.
Now it's time for my bath.
Yeah, take that, Godzilla.
I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
Myself, myself, myself
Talking about myself, myself
Go get him, sub!
Get that wreck!
Okay, basketball time.
Here we go.
Hip hooray, sir.
Aren't baths the best thing ever, Fairchild?
lmagine a world without bathtubs.
I mean, for one thing,
this floor would be soaking wet.
What do they call you, Mr. Charisma?
Are you alone?
Alone? I am as alone as a person can be...
without actually technically being alone.
-Hi, Fairchild.
-Madam.
Why don't you come on in?
I'm naked, I'm horizontal,
I am covered with bubbles.
So most of your work is already done.
Sorry, stud, no time.
-I'm making a list of adoption agencies.
-How are you doing?
So far, not so good.
Everyone I've talked to
insists on meeting you.
I love you, Mrs. Bach, don't ever
Артур 2 Артур 2

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