anybody tell you not to mess
with the big dog while he's eating?
It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?
- Dildos.
- This is still my camp, asshole.
- You're going down.
- No, I'm not.
But your mum did last night.
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really strong lips.
That's right.
Yummy.
That's what I'm talking about.
- What happened this time, Claire?
- Well, I was working on my solo...
and I hurt myself.
I've been fucking poisoned.
Ipecac is a natural herbal extract...
that triggers the regurgitation reflex.
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.
Like him, if we're lucky.
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's probably just something...
you had for lunch, you know? I've got
the same problem. Very sensitive stomach.
I was at a banquet once.
On the same plate, if you can believe it...
they had creamed venison, squid fritters,
and jellied pork.
What?
- Hey, what's up, crust bucket?
- Come here, dude. Check this out.
So, this afternoon, while the counselors
were practicing for the talent show...
I faked an asthma attack,
and I changed both of the cameras.
It's their talent show routine, au naturel. 
Dude, you filthy little cyberfucker. Shit.
- Hey, I thought we were just going to watch.
- Exactly, we may want to watch it again.
Hey, so, I took your advice about Chloe.
I used the Rover to deliver a soda.
- That was your cool, crazy idea?
- Yeah, I think she actually liked it.
- Yeah, that sounds gay.
- It's not gay.
Anyway, there's
this bonfire-slushee party tonight...
and I really need to know Step Two
in the Stiffmeister plan.
Slushee party. Really.
Special delivery.
Prepare to jam with the bearded clam.
Get ready to cuddle the love puddle.
The time has come for Dr. Robot to get laid.
Get laid?
I told you, trust the Stiffmeister.
Meister means "master" in German.
Get her drunk? That's the secret
of the ages? That's Step Number Two?
No, actually, it's Step Four. You don't have
the balls for Two or the tongue for Three.
I've got the balls.
Hey, you haven't heard Step Five yet.
Born to be wild
Well, I'm hot blooded
Check it and see
I've got a fever of 103
Come on baby
Do you do more than dance?
- This is some good shit.
- Don't enjoy it too much.
- We have a big practice tomorrow, you guys.
- Relax, Leesy.
Suckle the tender fruits
of Band Camp with your friends.
Come on, Elyse. Cut loose a little bit.
Have some fun.
I am having fun.
Hey, horn dog, let's go get
some more of these before they run out.
- All right.
- Horn dog?
Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick
his dick into anything. It's unnatural.
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.
- Really?
- Blow in it for a while...
get that wood nice and warm,
slap on some valve oil and go to town, yo.
Hey, maybe you should try a flute.
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.
Really?
What?
I know what you're doing.
- You do?
- It's what you always do. You're a fake.
You do whatever it takes
to be the centre of attention.
Just like when we were kids,
around me, you were regular old Matt...
but around Steve and his friends,
you were the Stiffmeister.
Who're you going to be tonight?
Hey, cheese dick...
why don't you quit being such a fucking
taint licker, and get me another slushee.
Fucking puss monkey.
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.
Fucking hoes, man. I don't get that shit.
I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods
tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree.
- What's up with that?
- That cock spring is getting laid?
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys in camp...
and we ain't got no prospects
for our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg.
Dude, I gotta see this.
Use your hips more.
Hips, like that?
Yeah, now faster. Yeah. Like that.
A circle. Like that.
Crikey! The
alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate.
Will he survive this dangerous