fried chicken...
and do a crossword puzzle
at the same time.
That's how much you bother me.
Do you need anything else at this table?
The tea, sure.
Did you decide
what you want for breakfast?
First, I want a big smile.
ALICE: Do you want eggs?
DAVID: Yeah, ham and eggs.
Ham and eggs.
How do you want your eggs?
Everybody, listen!
We got us here a new girl,
and her name is Alice.
And today is her first day on the job.
FLO: And Mel here says that she was
a singer. How about them apples?
And everybody can see
she's got big tits on her.
FLO: But hands off.
Let the girl do her work.
If there's going to be
any grab-assing around here, grab mine.
You look, but don't you touch.
Steady, big fella. It gets easier.
All right. Now, do you want toast?
-Yeah.
-And coffee?
-Thank you.
-A big smile.
[Classical music continues playing]
VERA: What did you want?
MAN: Some toast. You took away my plate.
Here, take this one.
These people are....
Vera.
Excuse me. I can't find the tea bags.
Could you show me where they are?
I looked all over down here,
and I don't see them anywhere.
MEL: What the hell's going on out there?
I'm sorry. I was looking for the tea bags.
FLO: They're right down there in a can
across from the coffee, a little round can.
ALICE: I see. Yeah, thank you.
FLO: Okay. You all right?
FLO: You know, I can tell
that you're new to this kind of work.
But you catch on real quick.
Most of them....
Honey, most of them are out that door
by 10:30 in the morning, crying.
Thanks a lot. I might blow my brains out.
You don't like me very much, do you?
Not very much, no.
Honey, that's okay.
I've been dumped on by kings in my time.
I don't doubt it.
Flo, I really don't need anybody
making speeches for me...
so I'd appreciate it if you'd just
leave me out of your jokes, okay?
-Jokes? What jokes?
-The little routine you do for the fellas.
Just leave me out of it.
I sure would hate to have breakfast
with you every morning of my life.
You don't have to worry.
There's not much danger of that.
God, I hate that place.
I said I would hate it, I was right. I hate it.
But I earned $17 in tips today.
Not bad.
Mel said I'll do better in a week or so.
How long do you think
we'll have to stay in this hellhole?
TOMMY: Quit it, Mom.
Quit it, Mom.
You better stop.
[Splutters]
[Gasps]
ALICE: No, Tommy. No more.
ALICE: That's it, no more.
Honey, I was only kidding.
Don't do it.
You'll get it all over everything.
Tom, I'm warning you, don't do it.
If you do, you'll be sorry.
You'll be very sorry
because I'll drench you.
I will. I'll pour it all on your head.
[Both screaming enthusiastically]
I quit! No more!
Okay, that's enough.
No, no more! Don't!
Come on, cut it out. That's enough now.
TOMMY: You sure?
ALICE: Yes, I'm sure. Stop.
Look at this mess.
This is terrible. What have we done?
You!
[Both laughing]
BOY: Bye.
TOMMY: Bye.
Weird.
Very weird.
He's even weird for Tucson, and Tucson
is the weird capital of the world.
I didn't know that.
-What's your name?
-Tom.
Mine's Audrey. It's really not.
It's Doris, but I like Audrey better.
Weird.
You want to get high on Ripple?
TOMMY: What?
AUDREY: You want to get high on Ripple?
No, I can't.
TOMMY: What about your folks?
AUDREY: My dad split two years ago.
Mom turns tricks at the Ramada Inn
from 3:00 p.m. on.
What if she came home?
She wouldn't even notice.
I could have a troop
of bare-assed Eagle Scouts...
in for the afternoon
and she wouldn't blink an eye.
AUDREY: Is your mom a hard-nose?
TOMMY: No, a singer.
-Or a waitress, I guess.
-A singing waitress.
Weird.
So you want Ripple or not?
No, not today. Maybe Wednesday.
-I'll see you then.
-Right. Bye-bye.
What about Friday?
No, I can't. I'm sorry. Thank you.
New Year's Eve?
I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be here
for New Year's Eve.
What am I doing wrong?
It's not that.
It's the beard. I'll cut it off.