He owns it.
He owns the room.
It is his. He owns, owns,
owns the room! He owns it!
It's a little weird,
but it's getting better.
I'm gonna miss this woman so much.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
It's been 20 years of my life.
Hey, hey. Maybe this is a good thing.
It'll give you a chance to shake
things up. Play different characters.
You're so talented.
Probably should've just left years ago
when the offers were pouring in...
...but I just got
so comfy here and... .
I turned down some amazing work.
Like what?
Well, let's just say
if I'd left 15 years ago...
...the landscape of Mexican
cinema would be very different today.
Wow.
But, well, now... .
Now's a different time for me.
Oh, hey, come on. Don't do this.
Let me tell you something, okay?
When I watch you do a scene, I'm
thinking, "She is a great actress. "
But I'm also thinking, "She is hot. "
You think I'm hot?
You own the room.
We should probably get the... .
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should get...
So when Jessica kisses a man...
...she usually puts...
...both her hands on the man's face.
I notice that.
Is that because she's so passionate?
No, it's because that way
the camera only sees her.
You want to try it?
Yeah, okay.
That was good. That was really good.
But I think that maybe your hands
are just a little off. They should...
Well, I feel like a snack.
Do you want some shortbread?
It's Scottish, like you are.
Oh, no, thanks. I don't like anything
from my Scottish heritage.
What?
Well, it's just that my entire family
was run out of Scotland by...
...Vikings.
It sounds like your family's ready
to rediscover its Scottish roots.
You can't play bagpipes
at the wedding!
How did you know?
- We heard you play from our apartment.
- Were you the ones who called the cops?
That's not really important right now.
What is important is, while we
appreciate the gesture...
...we just don't feel that bagpipes
are appropriate for our wedding.
- Why not?
- Because we hate them.
Just give me a chance to perform for
you, then decide whatever you want.
I'm not gonna tell you what song
I'm gonna play, either.
Let's just say when it's over...
...I'll bet there'll be
a wee bit o' celebration.
Hey, hey!
Who is it?
It's Tom.
I'm here to pick up the phone.
Why do you get to answer the door?
- Why shouldn't I?
- Because it's my apartment.
Then I get to give him the phone.
Okay. Good luck explaining
all the calls to China.
Hi.
Wow, how long were we arguing for?
You're not the man who left the phone.
- No, that's my assistant.
- Is he coming?
No.
- Could you give us one second?
- Sure.
We'll be right back, sir.
- What do we do?
- I don't know.
Can you believe this?
We were waiting for a hot guy
and a hotter one shows up.
I know...
What?
Rachel, listen...
...if you let me have him,
then I will really owe you one.
All right.
All right, I will let you have him.
But you owe me. You owe me big.
Which one of you will I
take to dinner?
Oh, that'd be me, sir.
Nice. 
Well, you certainly own that room.
Actually, I rent the whole place.
I just got what you meant. Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Jessica Lockhart!
In my apartment!
I am such a huge fan.
I am such a huge fan.
It's nice to know...
Monica!
That's my roommate, Rachel.
That explains the women's underwear.
Sure.
Oh, my God, it's true!
Can I just ask you to do me
just one favor?
Certainly.
Would you slap me
right here in the face?
I'd love to, but my lawyer said
I can't do that anymore.
All right, here we go.
No, wait. Just one moment.
- You're a stupid bitch.
- I really can't slap you.
- My God, you're great.
- Thanks for stopping by.
- I am so sorry about that.
- Oh, no.
Being adored, I'm used to it.
Don't worry about it.
- Oh, my God.
- What?
They sent me today's script.
They never send me the script.
- They don't?
- I'm in a coma.
This must mean I have lines.
Oh.
How does it