in curlers ?
Let it go.
After this lesson,
You'll never get beat
up at school again.
I'm not going to
school anymore.
Don't say that.
School's important.
Dropouts don't get
anywhere in life.
You'll hang around the
house all day eating
and watching tv.
But i want to be
like you.
I don't know whether
to laugh or cry.
The trick is
to concentrate
all your energy,
And let it explode in
a flash of destruction.
Watch.
Eee-Yah.
All right !
That never
worked before.
Do it again.
Okay.
Eee-Yah.
I guess there's pain only when
you don't break the board.
Unbelievable pain.
Hey, brian.
Your mother told
me what happened.
Are you okay ?
Yeah, alf's teaching
me the martial arts.
I don't want you teaching
my son to fight, alf.
Call an ambulance.
I'm serious !
And i'm not ?
I broke my hand.
Let me see.
It looks fine.
Thank you,
professor x-Ray.
It's fine, alf.
It's fine.
That feels good.Can
you do my shoulders ?
If you really
want to help,
Teach him
not to fight.
He already
knows that --
Look at his face.
Excuse me, alf.
I know whereof
i speak.
When i was
brian's age,
A bully lived
on our block.
He was always
picking on me.
Whereof ?
Sorry. I'm still
fascinated...
By the oddities of
the english language.
Anyway,
This bully was
named clarence.
Ha ! Tough
neighborhood.
Ow !
Every day i'd try
to stand up to him.
And every day
he'd beat me up.
Until finally my
father told me ...
To just turn
the other cheek.
Is this the same grandfather
that talked to corn chips ?
He was a wise man.
You know what happened ?
When i refused to fight,
clarence stopped bothering me.
It's no fun to pick on
someone who won't fight back.
So tomorrow, if bobby
starts teasing you,
I want you to just
walk away.Okay ?
Okay.
Willie, my hand
still hurts.
Kiss it ?
Whoa !How
continental.
I love you,
too, mom.
'Bye.
Why are those boards
in the fireplace ?
Alf said, "if you can't
break them, burn them."
Alf !
Boing !
Alf, you may not burn
perfectly good lumber.
Oh, right.
One of these days ...
Willie's going to
build that gazebo.
Brian, what's wrong.
Nothing.See you tomorrow.
Oh, not again.
Hi, dad.
Bobby beat
me up again.
Oh, no.
I tried to walk away,
But he was sitting
on me at the time.
Lynn, get the
first-Aid kit.
Come on, let me
clean you up.
All right !
That's it !
I say we
fight violence
with violence.
That's how we solved
things back home.
Don't you remember what
happened to your planet ?
It blew up in a nuclear
holocaust.Why ?
Don't you see the connection ?
What connection ?
I give up.
Me, too.
My head is spinning.
Maybe a cold cream sundae --
You should have heard
what bobby said.
Did he insult me again ?
No.Dad.
What did he say about me ?
He said you
must have been desperate
to marry someone like mom.
I'm glad to see
he's off my case.
Did he say
anything about me ?
He said you were cute.
Does he know i'm
mom's daughter ?
This isn't funny !
I'm sorry, but i have
to call bobby's mother.
Save your dialing finger.
She's not home.
She went to the
liquor store.
Who told you that ?
Bobby's father.
By the way,
he's coming here
to beat up willie.
What ?
Why ?
He didn't like the way you
talked to him on the phone.
I thought we agreed
that you would stop...
Impersonating me
on the phone.
We agreed i'd stop impersonating
the cast of "green acres."
[As mr. Haney from green acres]
mr. Haney could
have sold brian...
Some revivifying potion...
From the back of his truck.
What did "i" say
to bobby's father ?
You were a
bit rough.
It was so
unlike you.
What did he say to me ?
He said that he was
going to turn your face...
Into silly putty.
Look at the
bright side.
You'll be able
to reproduce the
sunday comics.
[ Doorbell ]
That might be
bobby's dad.
Don't worry,
willie.
We won't let them
keep you alive
artificially.
You must be
mr. Duncan.
You're