- Sorry.
- Move your butt!
- Okay.
Who's squishing me?
We made it. Jett Records.
Oh, my gosh. That's him. Ian Hawke.
Mr. Hawke?
That voice. I can't get it out of my head.
Hello? Mr. Hawke!
That's not in my head.
That's really happening.
- What do you want?
- We want to introduce ourselves.
That's right. I'm Brittany,
and this is my sister Eleanor.
Hello, sir. Such a pleasure to meet you.
And I'm their sister Jeanette.
Although I feel more like an Olivia,
or sometimes a...
Anyway, we're the Chipettes.
And, well, we would just be so honored
to have you represent us.
You made Alvin and the Chipmunks stars.
We wanna be stars, too.
- Yeah.
- And hang out with the Chipmunks.
Okay, now, listen, before we get
all girlie and giggly about this,
just tell me one thing.
You can sing, right?
No, no, wait. Hang on. Not here.
Why don't we take this meeting upstairs
in my penthouse office?
Sure! This is so exciting.
We're really on our way now.
Oh, my gosh. Guys, can you believe it?
My first penthouse office!
- Wow!
- Oh, boy!
Oh, my. The Hollywood sign.
Thought you might like the view.
So, ladies, tell me a little something
about yourselves.
Well, we grew up in a small town,
population 300, and...
Yeah? Really? That's fascinating. Great.
All right, impress me.
1, 2, 3.
Girls, girls, girls, girls.
Guess who just became the number one
Chipette fan in the whole dang world?
Ian Hawke, that's who.
- Yay! Nice!
- Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh!
So when can we meet the Chipmunks?
That's an excellent question.
And the excellent answer is,
I don't really represent
Alvin and the Chipmunks anymore.
- Oh, no!
- What happened?
Classic tale. Sweet and innocent
when I met them, and they had nothing.
And then I work my butt off
to make them rock stars,
and they changed.
Turned on me like bad cheese.
- No!
- That's terrible.
I know! I mean, I treated Alvin
like he was my own son, you know?
And then he just goes and spits on me.
Literally. He filled his chipmunk cheeks
with saliva and just had at it.
And don't even get me started
about Simon.
But not Theodore, right?
It's the cuddly ones
you have to watch out for.
But what are we talking about them for?
Come on! They're over.
Tired. Novelty act.
Chipmunks who can sing.
But girl chipmunks who can sing?
Fasten your seatbelts!
So, I'm on Jay-Z's yacht, right?
And I say, "Jay, where's Beyoncй?"
And he says, "She's holding a plate
full of Cheese Balls. Turn around."
And guess what? She was!
P.S., Dave left me in charge.
Staying up till 10:00 every night.
Oh, yeah!
Hey, girls, look what I can do.
You are Theodore-able.
- Thank you.
- You're so cute.
I am so sorry.
- It's cool. No harm done.
- Not yet.
Girls? Please? Private conference.
Thank you.
Listen up, rock stars.
If you talk to those girls again,
you're dead.
If you look at those girls again,
you're dead.
If you even think about those girls...
Are you thinking about them?
Well, I am now!
That's it. You're dead!
- Run!
- Xander! Come on!
- Back here, you dirty rats!
- Hang ten, bros!
Scatter!
Go, go! That way! Over there!
Ryan!
Hey, slowpokes! Catch me if you can!
- You're dead, fur ball.
- Not!
- It's wedgie time!
- My butt!
Oh, boy. Eagle.
- Eagle! Eagle!
- Get them!
- Bully! Bully!
- This way! This way!
Gotcha!
- Guys, wait, wait. Time out!
- It's swirlie time!
Come on, come on, guys. This is so 1980s.
Please! Please!
Oh, man! Come on.
- That's a good look for you.
- Thank you.
Can't swim. Help!
Grab on, Simon.
Thanks.
You okay?
Well, considering that you just
saved me from drowning in a toilet,
I'm pretty good.
I'll be right back.
Alvin! Alvin! We're not going
to solve anything with violence.
- It's the fatty-ratty!
- Cut it out!
This rat has serious junk in the trunk.
- Yeah, little fatty!
- Stop it!
He jiggles when I poke him.
Mommy!
Simon, does this make my butt
look smaller?
Theodore, your butt looks