be jiving with my ass.
Y'all, get out of the booth. Now!
You, get off the table. Get up here.
What's wrong with you,
you honky mother?
Get the lead out of your ass
and get up here.
Whoa, where was you going?
Think you're going to the police?
No, you take your clothes off.
Everybody, get your clothes off.
Get your clothes off.
Get out here and get them clothes off.
Get on out there and get to shucking.
Shit, you ain't got no money.
What did they pay you in, food stamps?
You should be robbing me.
You're slower than molasses.
I told you get them clothes off.
I promise I won't chase you,
just let me keep my pants on.
I'll be a rock,
standing here with my pants on.
With the what?
Let me talk to you. Let me talk.
Well, do it, man. What?
I'm a divorced man,
and I let the laundry pile up.
- So I'm not wearing any underwear.
- I don't care!
Just get your honky ass undressed.
Please, give the guy a break.
He's not wearing any underwear.
- Some people aren't gifted.
- Shut your damn mouth.
Okay, I'll take it off.
Don't get so excited.
Get at it! Come on.
I won't watch this man dangle
for your delight.
You can take our wallets,
but you can't take our dignity.
I'll tell you what.
While your britches are down...
...why don't you bend over
and kiss your ass goodbye!
You hear that? Let it go!
Let go of my damn gun.
I'm gonna blow your ass off.
Look what you've done.
I've been shot.
I'm bleeding, aren't I?
Oh, that's a major gash.
I couldn't die in a good restaurant.
No, my last meal had to be a chilidog.
You won't die.
They always say that to people
who are dying, don't they?
Did you see the gunman?
Did you see what he looked like?
He looked familiar.
You look familiar too.
You I've never seen.
I never thought I'd be engaged
to a man with a bullet wound.
I think it's very '80s...
...very sexy in a way.
I'll live. Press that button.
I have a surprise for you.
- What button?
- That one right there.
- Whoa, watch out.
- Donald...
- Look: Up scope.
- Okay.
Look, Mr. Weasel rising from the dead.
- Donald. Donald!
- What? Sonny.
- I don't want to break up your fun.
- Are you kidding? Come on in here.
Sonny Paluso, I'd like you to meet
my wife to be, Doreen Ryan.
- Honey, Sonny.
- What you did was really brave.
It was one of those crazy things.
I just came by to see
how you were feeling.
Besides the ventilation, fine.
I came by to apologize.
If not for me, you wouldn't be shot.
- Come on.
- You wouldn't be here.
- I mean it...
- I do too.
Sometimes you need some sense
knocked into you. Some mondo reality.
We spend so much time pursuing
that almighty dollar...
...that we can forget
what matters most.
Like people you love. Health.
God.
Those are three of the big ones,
all right.
When they brought me in here,
I lost a lot of blood.
You'll think I'm in bozo city, but...
No, go ahead. What?
As I felt my life ebbing away,
just for an instant...
...I saw God's face.
- You wanna know what God looks like?
- Who wouldn't?
I couldn't make it out too clearly,
because there was...
...this bright glow.
He had this white cloud
all around him.
Finally I could make out a head.
He has a large head.
Sure, he's God.
Then finally the cloud disappeared...
...and I heard this voice say...
Holy shit! Jeez, that's us.
Ordinary citizens putting up
their dukes and slugging it out.
Indeed, shooting it out
with violent criminals.
That's heroism. Or is it?
This station manager thinks...
...it is reckless
and potentially fatal stupidity.
What?
Jeopardizing the lives
of innocent people...
...is an act of hotshots, not heroes.
Hotshots?
Criminals must be stopped,
but by our capable police force...
...not hotshots armed only
with dumb luck.
Dumb luck?
This is a Channel 6 Editorial.
Opposing viewpoints welcome.
Opposing viewpoints?
Here's your opposing viewpoint,
you