smooth as glass
§ Glass
§ Meet our friendly, eager crew
§ They only live to service you
§ Service, service, service you
§ This flight, this flight comes complete
§ With your choice of seat
§ And any seat you grab will be first class
§ Up there, where the clouds are pillowy
§ You're as close to heaven
as you'll ever be
§ Lean back, relax
§ Here come the snacks
§ Drop your diet, have a fall
§ Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop with one
§ Try 'em all
§ Try 'em all
§ The music's ready to begin
§ Take out your headset, plug it in
§ What's your answer, chum?
§ Are you gonna come?
§ On the coolest, hottest
§ Coolest, hottest
§ Coolest, hottest trip that's ever been
§ Lean back, relax
Thanks, thanks a lot, but it's
not exactly over yet. Murray?
Smoke, smoke.
Smoke... Smoke...
The lights go down
and a light comes up over there.
Welcome. Welcome aboard Air Rotica.
§ Take offwith us
Flying not only coast to coast,...
..but anywhere your desires
and fantasies wish to take you.
§ Take offwith us
Let us all get to know one another.
- Remember, we can take you anywhere.
- They're taking their clothes off.
Mm-hm.
Just reach out your hand
and introduce yourselves.
- My name is Sam.
- My name is Otto.
- My name is Jennifer.
- My name is Rima.
- Gary.
- John.
Uh-oh. I think we just lost
the family audience.
- My name is Candace.
- My name is Jennifer.
- My name is Rima.
- My name is Danny.
- My name is Autumn.
- My name's Sandahl.
- My name is John.
- My name is Gary.
And don't forget about
our group fun, fun, fun plan.
Now Sinatra will never record it.
Then an actor comes out
from the side ofthe stage and says...
- "Not once, during any of our flights..."
- Goodbye.
- See you around.
- Hope to see you again real soon.
"..of any real human communication."
- Well, uh...
- Goodbye.
"Our motto is: we take you
everywhere, but get you nowhere."
Boy, I hate to hurt his feelings,
but we can't have that on a stage.
Take five.
Well?
Yeah, it's, um... it's, uh...
interesting.
Yes, very interesting.
Did you like it?
- It's unusual.
- Mm-hm, very unusual.
Oh, I don't think they liked it.
What do you think?
I don't know about the audiences, but
I think it's the best work you've ever done.
You son of a bitch.
Jesus Christ! Sex, sex, sex - can't he
ever think of anything else but sex?
That's his sickness.
Nah, nothin' I ever do is good enough.
It's not beautiful enough, it's not
funny enough, it's not deep enough...
It's not anything enough.
Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect.
I mean, that's perfect. I wanna look up to God
and say "How the hell did you do that?"
- "And why the hell can't I do that?"
- That's probably one ofyour better con lines.
Yeah, it is. But that
doesn't mean I don't mean it.
Ifl were God...
Sometimes I thinklam...
Depends on the shityou're smoking...
Ifl were God, man,
everybody wouldlive for ever.
No death, man. No pennies
on the eyes foranybody.
You know, man, death
is reallya hip thing now.
Death is in.
Books, magazine articles, TVshows, Ken
andBarbie dolls with a mutualsuicide pact...
Buried them in a little shoebox.
Knewa guy who boughta pair ofthem.
He was into dollnecrophilia.
Ifit cuts...
- All right, little thing. Oooh!
- It's terrific.
There's a lady in Chicago, man,
wrote a book. DrKьbler-Ross, with a dash.
This chick, man, without
the benefit ofdying herself,
has broken the process
ofdeath into five stages.
Anger, denial, bargaining,
depression andacceptance.
- That's it.
- Sounds like a Jewish lawfirm.
- Got time to make some changes?
- Not and make the screening tonight, no.
- I cannot believe people are gonna see this.
- Neither can l.
- It's a bomb.
- Really?
Yeah, really. You'll have to make a speech.
Tell 'em it's a rough cut, we're not finished...
- Tell 'em any excuse you can think of.
- Why don't you tell 'em?
- I'm not gonna be there.
- You're not coming? Where you gonna be?