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- Gary.
- John.
Uh-oh. I think we just lost
the family audience.
- My name is Candace.
- My name is Jennifer.
- My name is Rima.
- My name is Danny.
- My name is Autumn.
- My name's Sandahl.
- My name is John.
- My name is Gary.
And don't forget about
our group fun, fun, fun plan.
Now Sinatra will never record it.
Then an actor comes out
from the side of the stage and says...
- "Not once, during any of our flights..."
- Goodbye.
- See you around.
- Hope to see you again real soon.
"...of any real human communication".
- Well, uh...
- Goodbye.
"Our motto is: we take you
everywhere, but get you nowhere".
Boy, I hate to hurt his feelings,
but we can't have that on a stage.
Take five.
Well?
Yeah, it's, um... it's, uh...
interesting.
Yes, very interesting.
Did you like it?
- It's unusual.
- Mm-hm, very unusual.
Oh, I don't think they liked it.
What do you think?
I don't know about the audiences, but
I think it's the best work you've ever done.
You son of a bitch.
Jesus Christ! Sex, sex, sex - can't he
ever think of anything else but sex?
That's his sickness.
Nah, nothin' I ever do is good enough.
It's not beautiful enough, it's not
funny enough, it's not deep enough...
It's not anything enough.
Now, when I see a rose, that's perfect.
I mean, that's perfect. I wanna look up to God
and say "How the hell did you do that?"
- "And why the hell can't I do that?"
- That's probably one of your better con lines.
Yeah, it is. But that
doesn't mean I don't mean it.
If I were God...
Sometimes I think I am...
Depends on the shit you're smoking...
If I were God, man,
everybody would live for ever.
No death, man. No pennies
on the eyes for anybody.
You know, man, death
is really a hip thing now.
Death is in.
Books, magazine articles, TVshows, Ken
and Barbie dolls with a mutual suicide pact...
Buried them in a little shoebox.
Knew a guy who bought a pair of them.
He was into doll necrophilia.
If it cuts...
- All right, little thing. Oooh!
- It's terrific.
There's a lady in Chicago, man,
wrote a book. Dr Kьbler-Ross, with a dash.
This chick, man, without
the benefit of dying herself,
has broken the process
of death into five stages.
Anger, denial, bargaining,
depression and acceptance.
- That's it.
- Sounds like a Jewish law firm.
- Got time to make some changes?
- Not and make the screening tonight, no.
- I cannot believe people are gonna see this.
- Neither can I.
- It's a bomb.
- Really?
Yeah, really. You'll have to make a speech.
Tell 'em it's a rough cut, we're not finished...
- Tell 'em any excuse you can think of.
- Why don't you tell 'em?
- I'm not gonna be there.
- You're not coming? Where you gonna be?
Hiding someplace, probably
vomiting, or drinking, or both.
We'll start recutting Monday morning.
They bought that love story?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't answering the phone.
I think they told me they liked it.
Just wasn't answering the phone...
Come on, don't bullshit a bullshitter.
No, I don't believe you either.
I'll have her home by 10.30, don't worry. Bye.
Oh, shit.
Hello. Stacy? Oh, listen,
I'm sorry. I'm in a meeting.
Just don't panic on the staircase.
At least three people said
how much they liked the screening.
One was my producer, one was
my lawyer and one was Michelle's mother.
Oh, Joe, everybody loved it. We tried to
tell you that last night. You wouldn't listen.
You know, that was the first R-rated
movie I ever saw, and I loved it.
- Did you understand it?
- Well, I understood everything
except the part where the two girls
were in bed together and they were kissing.
What was that supposed to mean?
- Is dinner ready yet?
- No.
- What was that supposed to mean?
- Well, Michelle, uh,
there are certain women who...
- Who...?
- Thanks a lot.
There are certain women
who just don't
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