say?
I said, "You'll have to
excuse my wife.
Ever since her last pregnancy,
she's had a problem."
Then I offered
to have the rug cleaned.
- Did that help?
- No. They said they had a maid, and it wouldn't be necessary.
You think this is funny?
Listen.
I've been meaning to tell
you this for a long time.
I just love Helen.
Would she come off any worse
if I told you I lost the account?
Oh, George, when
did you get so stuffy?
Stuffy?
Yeah.
Am I stuffy because I don't like
my wife to urinate on my client's carpet?
Well, I didn't mean
just that, honey, but-
Well, look at you. You
just scream establishment.
I am not a faddist.
- What do you mean? - I mean I have no
desire to be those middle-aged idiots...
who walk around in bell-bottomed
trousers and Prince Valiant haircuts...
saying "ciao."
Well, I wasn't just talking about
fashion. I was talking about your attitudes.
My attitudes are the same as they
always were. I haven't changed at all.
Oh, yes, you have. You used to be
kind of, well, crazy and insecure...
and a terrible liar,
but awfully human.
Now you
- I don't know. You just seem so sure of yourself.
- That's the last thing I am.
- Oh, yeah?
I picked up one of Helen's magazines the
other day, and there was this article...
telling women what sort
of orgasms they should have.
It was called "The Big 'O."'
You know what really
got me about that?
This was a magazine my mother used
to buy for its fruitcake recipes.
Well, the times, in fact,
are a-changing, darling.
Too fast.
I don't know. Twenty,
thirty years ago, we had standards.
Maybe they were black and white,
but at least they were standards.
Now-
It's so confusing.
Well-
That's at least a step
in the right direction.
When did I suddenly
become so appealing?
When you went
from pompous to confused.
All right.
Now, tell me, sir.
What's your pleasure?
A walk by the ocean...
or a good book...
or...
me?
You. Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
What?
Doris, you're not
wearing a bra.
George,
you're so 40s.
I'm a very
old-fashioned man.
Next, you'll be telling
me you voted for Goldwater.
I did.
You're putting me on.
No. Of course not.
What are you doing?
If you think I'm going to bed with any
son of a bitch who voted for Goldwater,
you're crazy.
Doris, don't do this to me. Not now.
How could you vote for
a man like that? Yuck!
Can we discuss this later?
No. We'll discuss it right now.
- Why did you vote for him?
- Because I have a son who wants to be a rock musician.
What kind of reason is that? The best
one I can come up with in my condition.
I'm sorry, George, you're gonna have
to do a whole lot better than that.
All right. He wanted to end the war,
okay? Sure, by destroying the country.
He never said that. That's the trouble
with you people. You never listen.
It's a civil war. We have no right
being there in the first place.
Oh, I'm so sick
of hearing that liberal crap.
We have the bomb. Why don't
we use it? Are you serious?
You're damned right I am. Wipe the
sons of bitches off the face of the earth.
Oh, my God! I don't know anything about you!
- What kind of man are you?
- Right now, a very frustrated one.
All this time, I thought I was
going to bed with a liberal Democrat.
Wait a minute. You told
me you worked for Stevenson.
That was years ago. So what
happened? What changed you?
I grew up. Oh, yeah? Well,
as far as I'm concerned,
you didn't
turn out too hot.
Let's just forget it, huh?
Oh, I'm not gonna forget it!
I mean, being stuffy and old-fashioned is
one thing, but being a fascist is another.
I am not a fascist! Well,
you're advocating mass murder!
Let's just drop it. No, I'm not
- I'm not going to drop it.
You stand for everything
that I'm against.
Maybe you’re against the wrong things.
But you used to believe as I do.
Now, what happened?
I changed!
But why? Because Michael was killed!
How?
He was helping a wounded man onto a Red
Cross