interest here,
Joanna.
I know I shouldn't say this,
but I just love my brownies.
I'm sorry. I just can't waste my
spare moments on something like that.
But you do go out sometimes,
don't you?
Go out?
Of course I go out.
I'm out now, aren't I?
Which one do you like?
Oh, I don't think either one.
- This is who?
- Cornell.
Husband owns the pharmacy.
She works there sometimes.
What I'd give for her chest.
There's this thing they've invented.
It's called knocking.
Doesn't interest me.
I'm a natural-born barger.
God, I just love that.
- Hey.
- Oh, yes. Yes.
Oh, yes.
Nobody's ever touched me
the way you touch me.
Oh, there.
Oh, you're the best, Frank.
Oh, God, are you the best.
Oh, there.
- Wait.
- Oh, God.
- God, are you the best.
- Let's go.
You're the king, Frank.
Oh, you're the champion, Frank.
Oh, you're the master!
- Is this the right place?
- Must be.
- Last house on Snowflake Lane.
- You're sure, now?
- We don't want to strike out again.
- "Oh, God, Frank, I'm sure. I'm sure."
Wasn't that awful? All your fault too.
I know, but this time,
I got us an invitation.
Listen, her name's
Charmaine Wimpiris.
And we were buying our kids shoes.
And I got to talking, and she said,
"Come on over.
It sounds interesting."
The way we've been bombing out,
I consider that a triumph.
- She said her court's in the back.
- OK.
Game.
- Five-one. Let's change.
- OK.
God, this is fun.
No!
- Oh, that was great.
- Oh, I haven't played
- in such a long time.
- Oh, you're good. You're really good.
I can tell that.
You're just out of practice.
Really. Hey, didn't you think
she was terrific?
I thought you were terrific.
Oh, well, listen. Play at my place
any time you want. I really mean that.
Now, Jenny Fisher used to play.
She finked out on me.
The only competition I've got left
are two teenage boys
with permanent erections.
- Send them to my place.
- Are you kidding?
I'd be lost without them.
Why don't you get her that...
- Give you some lessons.
- I'll give you a lesson.
- Thank you. No.
- Come on, I need the workout.
Thank you, Nettie.
Isn't Nettie marvellous?
A German Virgo.
Their thing is, you know, to serve.
Oh, that's why we won the war.
Well, girls, I didn't get you here
on false pretences, really. I...
I'm interested. I'm no fanatic,
but I'm really interested.
Actually, we moved here
about two months ago,
and Ed joins
this Men's Association.
Believe me,
I know that it's unfair and sexist,
but, frankly, anything that gets him
out of the house nights is fine with me.
If we could get a consciousness-raising
group going, you'd come?
- What?
- A consciousness-raising session.
- A bitching session, you mean.
- Sure.
Like a shot, I'd come.
You wouldn't believe
what Ed tries putting me through.
He has a rubber suit
made for me in England.
- Well!
- How about that, sports fans?
What is a rubber suit?
I'm an accent freak.
I'm not sure why.
Probably on account of...
I don't know if you've noticed
or not, but I stammer.
- When you were young, you mean?
- No, no.
I still do.
Just I work extra hard to control it.
Now, here.
I want you to write down
every place you've ever lived,
from when you were born until now.
And this is just standard vocabulary.
See, just straight through the alphabet.
"A. Aback. Abandon." Like that.
And this here's easy to operate.
Just push the switch and talk into it.
I think I can manage that,
- but what's this for?
- Just a lifelong hobby.
- Don't touch.
- See, once I get enough samples,
I aim to feed them all
into a computer and program it.
What I'll get back is an instant
geographical rundown on a person.
I really think it'll be more important
than fingerprints in police work.
That's very interesting, Claude,
but it's too much work.
We Stepford wives are busy, busy,
busy. You know, like your wife.
- Is he going to take your fingerprints?
- No, sweetie.
Just like your wife.
Bobby