You might show
a little more sympathy, dear.
- I'm not "dear."
- Evidemment.
You're not tres sensitive either.
I'm a professional.
A few unkind words aren't
going to bother me none.
- I know it won't all be standing ovations.
- Certainly not for you, my dear.
Look, I'm not "my dear."
You can fuck "my dear."
Well, thank you. That might be fun.
And that might be impossible.
He's not into vanilla.
Might be a nice change
from black cherry.
The darker the berry,
the sweeter the juice, honey.
Yes, but who wants diabetes?
I mean, you don't understand.
Listen to me, man.
Diction. Watch your diction, Ralph.
You're slurring your words.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Marlon Brando slurred his words.
Montgomery Clift and
James Dean slurred their words.
They were the greatest actors in the
world. Nobody could understand them.
[CHUCKLING]
Wait a second. What's so funny?
Hey, it's Raul.
Where's my two chicks, huh?
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
[GIRL SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Look at you! You got so big!
Where is Mom? Is she home?
[HONKING]
[WHISTLING]
MAN:
Hey! Hey!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[WHISTLING]
[MAN YELLING]
Hey, cupcake. Come here, cupcake.
Faggot.
That's what you are now, man.
What you doing? Whoa! Damn, man.
Faggot! Faggot!
[SINGING] -valley
I'm treading the road of care
My feet entangled with briars
Ready to cast me down
He'll never leave you alone
SHOROFSKY:
Martelli! Bruno Martelli!
[CRASHING]
SHOROFSKY:
Shit!
[GIRL GIGGLES]
MONTGOMERY:
I think she's in love.
In the beginning
she's not in love with him-
- God, you live here, Montgomery?
- Yeah.
- This is a great pad.
MONTGOMERY: You like it?
It's great. What happened to all
your furniture? You get ripped off?
- It closed in Cincinnati.
- What's that mean?
My mom kept saying she was gonna
fix it up when she got into a long run.
- She's got a lousy choice in plays.
- It's perfect.
We don't need nothing for rehearsal.
Ready when you are, Mr. Director.
- All right, page one, Act 1.
- All right, page one, Act 1.
[MAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH
ON TELEVISION]
[LAUGHING]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[DISHES RATTLING]
Raul?
[MAN COUGHS]
Raul?
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
[MAN COUGHING]
RALPH: If you're kicked around enough,
you get to be a real professor of pain.
I know how you feel.
But I'm having a real good time now.
I'm enjoying myself.
So you see, you're not such
a dog as you think you are.
I'm having a very good time too.
So there you are. I'm not such a dog
as I think I am.
DORIS:
I think you're a very nice guy.
I don't know why
a girl hasn't grabbed you.
Yeah, I don't either. I am a nice guy.
I'm also a real smart guy too.
Wait. There's a whole speech yet.
You're not supposed to kiss yet.
Ralph. Doris. Ralph, you have a whole
speech here you haven't even done.
Ralph, you're not supposed to kiss yet.
My mother was French
and very beautiful.
Straight out of some chateau.
She danced every night for hours.
Daddy was in Washington
or out to dinner with clients...
...while Mom was with Tchaikovsky,
Ravel, Mantovani.
You'll meet my stepmother, Claudia.
Trainee witch.
No cracks about being Chinese.
She's had her eyes fixed.
She recuperated in Palm Springs,
where she had her purse stolen.
She lost all her credit cards.
Dad doesn't want to report it, though.
The thief is spending less than she did.
Hi, Daddy.
Hi.
Oh, this is Leroy. Homework.
[SINGING]
Sometimes I wonder
Where I been
Who I am
Do I fit in?
Make believin'
Is hard alone
Out here on my own
We're always provin'
Who we are
Always reach in'
For that risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own
When I'm down and feelin' blue
/ close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you
Until the morning
Sun appears
Making light
Of all my fears
/ dry the tears
I've never shown
Out here on my own
But when I'm down and feelin' blue
/ close my eyes so I