I've been required to speak on various occasions on many subjects. I've spoken in defense of my country and in criticism of it. I've been called upon to defend and convict... horse thieves, harlots, and murderers. And while I know my bible from cover to cover... and many of its passages are graven on my heart... this, fellow citizens, is the very first time... that I have ever been required to speak the word of God in His temple. For any shelter, however humble or however sordid... no offense, Grat... becomes, when His word is spoken in it... His temple. Therefore, let us open this auspicious occasion by singing... What do you know, boys, anyway, huh? How about... Who Are You At Home, for a starter? Thanks, Rickey. It's a good song, though a bit secular. But you all know it. That's the main thing. Here, wait a minute. Wait a minute. While we are singing, we'll take up a collection. What for? Because, Pete, you infidel... part of a church service is in taking up a collection... and your donations, fellow citizens, ladies and gentlemen... and you, too, Pete... will be for the new church organ. Great guns, Yancey. We ain't even got a church. Now, that's all right, Pete. Once we buy an organ, it stands to reason we'd have to build a church to put it in... and, members of the congregation... anybody contributing less than two bits... will be thrown out of this tent by me. Indians not included. All right, Jesse, will you please favor us with a pitch? Will the ladies please join in with their sweet soprano voices? Now, once again, please. Fellow citizens... the sum of the collection for the organ for the first Osage church... whose denomination shall be nameless, is a gratifying total... of $133 and 55 cents. Wait a minute, Grat, did you say 55 cents? 55? That's right, Yancey. Some miserable, tightfisted, skinflint of a... Well, maybe it is an Osage by mistake. How about a Cherokee, Yancey? Not a Cherokee, Sid. I recognized your voice by the squeak. If you knew anything at all, you and Yountis and the rest of your outfit... you'd realize that a Cherokee is too smart... to put anything in the contribution box of a race that's robbed him of his birthright. Friends, we've come to the sermon. Anyone wishing to leave, kindly do so now. Please make way for all departing worshippers. My text is from Proverbs. "A lion is in the way. There's a lion in the streets." Friends, there's a lion in the streets of Osage. I have a confession to make. I have gone about seeking information of this lion. I might say this jackal or dirty skunk... if it wouldn't be sacrilegious. But this jackal in a lion's skin... who by threatening sudden death... has held this little town abjectly terrorized. I intended to announce from this pulpit... this platform... that I would publish this knowledge... in the first issue of the Oklahoma Wigwam... coming off the press next Thursday, thereby starting my paper off with a bang. Friends, and fellow citizens... I repent of my greed... and my desire for self-advancement at the expense of this community. I no longer intend to withhold the name of that yellow, skunking murderer... who shot down Jack Paigler when his back was turned. I will tell you all now the name of that... Was Lon Yountis. Stay where you are. Louis Hefner... as coroner, do your official du ------------------------------ Читайте также: - текст Раба любви на английском - текст Один дома 4 на английском - текст Варвара-краса, длинная коса на английском - текст Американский ниндзя 2: Столкновение на английском - текст Бегущий по лезвию на английском |