get us tickets
to, uh, Sinead O'Connor.
She's playing the Palladium.
Oh, great.
I don't even know if
I can pack it all into two weeks.
When you come right down to it,
what's the point of
comin' back here at all?
You'll get thrown in the slammer
for breach of contract.
Okay. There's a point.
Morning, Maggie.
Hi.
- Hello, O'Connell.
- Hi.
Your chair's out back.
That's a heavy old thing.
I had to help the guy lug it off the truck.
Thanks, thanks.
just stockin' up for my little trip
back to the Big Apple.
I'm goin' bullish on ptarmigans.
Care for a box as a memento?
Bite a ptarmigan's head off,
you'll be flooded with memories of me.
Mmm, no, thanks.
Um, I'll just go get the truck.
- You better get Rick to give you a hand.
- Oh, I can't. He's in the Aleutians.
- I'll give you a hand.
- You will?
Sure. Why not?
Is this a dirty trick, Fleischman?
What, like a practical joke?
Like, I'm gonna help you with the chair
and drop it on your foot?
- Yeah.
- Absolutely not.
Well, thanks, Fleischman.
That's, uh-
That's-That's sweet.
Oh, I appreciate it, I do.
It's just that I have this
Pavlovian response to you,
and I can never
really express my appreciation.
To you, that is,
because you're sneaky
and duplicitous and self-serving,
and I always think
you have a hidden agenda.
You're welcome.
Be back in five minutes for the marzipan.
Okay, Joel.
I'll get 'em wrapped up for you.
Trapped as we are on
that merry-go-round of time,
we've circled around once again
to the annual Cicely, Alaska
birthday bash extravaganza.
That's right.
Tomorrow's Founder's Day,
when we all get together
out at the church
and mark that special day back in 1932...
when Cicely and Roslyn
stalled out here on the cusp
of the new Alaskan Riviera...
and had to make the best
of a bad situation.
That's a damn lie.
Now, nobody really knows for sure
what happened in that stalled car
out in the woods...
with Cicely and
her very special friend Roslyn.
Damn it!
I told him to lay off that lesbian angle!
All alone, a little homesick,
couple of slugs
out of Roslyn's hip flask.
One thing leads to another.
Hey, come on.
We've all seen Cicely's picture.
Sure, she's a little heavy-set,
on the jowly side,
but very attractive in
a Margaret Thatcher kind of way.
It's not an angle, Maurice.
Cicely and Roslyn
loved each other deeply.
That's why they came to Alaska
in the first place.
They couldn't find acceptance
in polite Billings society.
Well, why in the hell
did they have to find it here?
I've got nothing against
Sapphic love.
I've been to some erotic movies myself.
But why hold up Hecate
and Persephone and whoever
to the rest of the worid and say,
"Hey, look, folks.
This is what we're all about''?
You get into areas of attraction,
and we're talkin' serious mystery here.
Shh! This is it.
And while we are talking mystery,
the Video Society continues
Death and Devastation Month
this Wednesday at Ruth-Anne's library.
Tonight's selection,
Pile-Up On Highway 10,
is on loan from
the private collection of Ed.
Well, guess that was my 15 minutes.
Ingrid!
Is it April already?
Time does fly.
Seems like I just left, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Hi, Ed.
I heard your name
on the radio just now.
Oh, thanks!
- You're looking well, Ingrid.
- Well, you're looking good yourself, Maurice.
Your squeeze off on the ice again?
Yeah. The snowshoe
hare population's up eight percent.
Doesn't he freeze out there
in just that itty-bitty pup tent?
He doesn't even notice it.
From now until the end of tagging season,
he thinks about nothing
but hares, hares, hares.
I can dig it.
Such a help.
Watch-Watch the legs.
This way. This way. This way. This way.
Thank you.
What is this thing made of,
melted-down anvils?
Oh, great, Fleischman.
My records!
I hope you take
better care of your airplane.
They were in alphabetical order.
Very classy, O'Connell.
Cole Porter.
You ever hear Sinead O'