stiff.
Yeah, Alice. Loosen up. That's it.
Very good. The new champion.
All right. Grab your partners.
Wonder whatever happened
to Astaire and Rogers.
Jiggers, the cops.
Pretty swank.
Good evening, Mr. Kirby. Good evening.
We seem to be attracting a little attention.
Oh, no. It isn't you they are watching.
It's Lord Melville.
-Lord Melville?
-Yes.
-Where is he?
-At your table with your father.
Tony, don't ask me to go over there
because I won't.
No, Alice. It will be all right.
I want you to meet a four-star blueblood.
Come on.
Good evening.
-Hello, Mother.
-Hello, Tony.
No, please.
Please be seated.
My son Tony, and Miss....
-Alice Sycamore.
-Sycamore, of course.
I never could remember names.
Lord and Lady Melville.
-How do you do?
-How do you do, sir?
Governor Leach and Mrs. Leach.
How do you do?
Nice party.
-A couple of chairs, please.
-No, a table for two.
-Yes, sir.
-Just want a table for two.
-What do you have there, sir? A new game?
-Oh, no.
I was just seeing
how far I could trace my family tree.
Your mother was interested.
I thought all that family tree stuff
went out with the buffalo.
How absurd, Tony.
America is more and more conscious
of its background.
It cost me $5,000 last year
to trace my family tree.
And you, Miss Sycamore.
Have you a family tree?
-Me?
-Yes.
My dear sir, don't you know
that a sycamore is a tree?
No comment.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Boy, there are going to be some questions
asked about my family, and their tree.
-I can just feel it.
-Good, I know all the answers.
If we're honest now, we're going
to save ourselves a lot of embarrassment.
Tony, I want you to invite them to my house.
So that's what has been on your mind?
It will give them an opportunity
to meet everyone, and then they'll know us.
All right. I think I can arrange that.
Let's see, I can put each member
of your family in a separate cage...
...and then put tags on them and the Kirbys
can march up and down like this.
Do you think I'm going to put you
on exhibition like a circus?
-I don't mind.
-I do. I'm just not going to bother.
We've got to.
To them, I'll always be
just a stenographer who....
-Look at your mother. She is still staring.
-Who wouldn't stare at you?
Tony, promise me you'll do it.
You know, every time I think how lucky I am,
I feel like screaming.
Tony, please promise you'll invite them.
-I feel a scream coming on.
-We'll have to face it sooner or later.
It's starting in my toes.
Sort of a tingling sensation.
-Ask them for Wednesday.
-It's creeping up around my knees.
It's going up my legs.
Traveling faster and faster.
-You're not really going to scream.
-It's in my stomach now. It's got me.
Not with your mother here.
-It's going up. It's all over my body now.
-Please don't.
It's in my throat. It's fighting to get out.
I can't hold it back any longer. Here it goes.
No!
What happened?
-A mouse went right past there.
-A mouse in this place?
-A rat that long with hair on it.
-A rat with hair on it?
There were about six of them.
Six or seven of them?
-Where?
-Where?
Right under that table.
There they go!
Mr. Kirby, I'm terribly sorry, terribly sorry.
It's all right, Henri.
Buy yourself some mousetraps.
Thank you.
Are you ready, Anthony?
Are you serious about taking me
on this slumming tour?
The more we fight him, the more he'll resist.
It's the only thing to do.
Pretend, at least,
that we are willing to be reasonable.
She's probably from some dull,
middle-class family.
As soon as Tony sees us together,
he'll realize how impossible the situation is.
Yeah. That, I take it,
is what is known as being subtle.
Yes.
Come here a minute, Donald.
Donald, look and see if you see a man
standing in front of the house.
What are you so excited about?
There's been a man following me lately
when I'm out delivering candy.
Maybe he wants a piece of candy.
What's the matter, Alice? Are you