hope this adds
to your enjoyment of the holidays.
It's just wonderful.
Arthur.
Art.
Dad.
Thanks for being here.
The little lights are not twinkling.
I know, Art, and thanks for noticing.
The house sure does look swell, Clark.
Thanks, Eddie.
I hope it enhances your holiday spirit.
Dear Catherine.
Eddie?
The house is gorgeous, Clark.
Eddie?
I hope you didn't do this
all on our account, Clark.
Kids, come on out here and see
what Uncle Clark's done to the house.
Eddie?
Eddie?
If you don't remember, this here is Rocky.
- Have you got a kiss for me?
- Take a rain check on that, Art.
He's got a lip fungus
that ain't identified yet.
You remember Ruby Sue?
Oh, my gosh!
Her eyes are not crossed anymore.
That somethin', ain't it?
She falls in a well, her eyes go cross.
A mule kicks her, they go back to normal.
I don't know.
And this here is our pride and joy.
Snots.
Pretty name.
We named him that
'cause he's got this sinus condition.
Snots, you roll over
and let Uncle Clark scratch your belly.
You never seen a set on a dog
like this one's got, Clark.
That's okay, Eddie.
That's somethin', ain't it?
You pet him on the belly...
...and he'll love you till the day you die.
I really shouldn't.
My hands are all chapped.
We were going to call,
but Eddie wanted to make it a surprise.
You surprised?
Surprised, Eddie?
If I woke up tomorrow
with my head sewn to the carpet...
...I wouldn't be more surprised
than I am right now.
We have plenty of room.
Plenty of towels. Plenty of everything.
We're pretty well set up here in the RV.
It's a little tight but...
...we didn't come to impose.
There's plenty of room.
Quit being so damn polite, Ed.
Catherine and I are pretty comfy in there,
but maybe you folks wouldn't mind...
...the youngsters shacking up with you.
After that long drive...
...we could use
a little private time together.
Honey, why don't you get the kids' things.
Don't forget the rubber sheets and gerbils.
I'll show you the home.
That's a honey of a tree, Clark.
Is it real?
I dug it out of the ground myself.
Is that a fact?
Get out of there, Snots!
Don't worry about it.
A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him.
Before we left, he drank
a half a quart of Pennzoil.
He lifted his leg the next mornin'...
If he drinks the water out of there,
the tree's gonna dry up.
Come on out of there.
Get out of there. Go in the kitchen
and get something to eat.
He's cute, ain't he?
Only problem is, he's got
a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.
If the mood catches him right,
he'll grab your leg and just go to town.
You don't want him around
if you're wearing short pants.
A word of warning, though.
If he does lay into you,
it's best to just let him finish.
I can't believe you're actually
standing here in my living room, Eddie.
Never thought the day would come.
I'm excited about it, too.
It's a cryin' shame
the older kids couldn't make it.
I'll get that.
Don't worry about it. It's okay.
I got the daughter in the clinic
getting cured off the Wild Turkey.
The older boy, bless his soul,
is preparing for his career.
- College?
- Carnival.
You gotta be proud.
Last season, he was a pixie dust spreader
on the Tilt-O-Whirl.
He thinks that maybe next year,
he'll be guessing people's weight...
...or barking for the Yak Woman.
- You ever see her?
- No.
She got these big horns
growing right out above her ears.
She's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal.
And a hell of a good cook.
Can I refill your eggnog for you?
Get you something to eat?
Drive you out to the middle of nowhere
and leave you for dead?
No, I'm doing just fine.
Just glad to be here.
When did you get
the tenement on wheels?
Oh, that? That's an RV.
I borrowed it off a buddy of mine.
He took my house, I took the RV.
It's a good-looking vehicle, ain't it?
It looks so nice parked in the driveway.
It sure does.
Don't you go falling in love with it.
We're taking it with us
when